You'll Never Know
by twilight-paramore
Summary: Bella is forced to move back to the small town of Forks after her mother remarries. There she befriends the little pixie Alice, and somehow finds her way into the world of baseball, friends, and Edward. One thing leads to another as baseball season nears.
1. So how'd you get me stuck in this?

**I've decided to start this story since TRU is coming to an end. This one's not really all set in stone yet, but I'm working out the kinks. (:**

Short first chapter, but I'm hoping to make the next ones lengthy. So it'll take me some time.

Enjoy!

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_So how'd you get me stuck in this?_

If there was ever a time where I would have dreamed my life to be different, it would be now.

I was standing beside my rusted up Chevy truck, watching the unfamiliar faces walk about. Their eyes flickered to where I stood only for mere seconds, but it felt like a lifetime. I was frozen in place; stunned by all the commotion going on around me.

This was new. This was unfamiliar. And this was something I did _not _want.

The welcome to Forks High sign was glaring down at me as the rain began, reminding me of every single reason of why I hated this place. If it wasn't for my father, I wouldn't have even forced myself to come here.

My mother had some input into the reason for my coming too, but I blamed my father for never moving out of his home town. He absolutely loved this place, but I didn't understand how. There was memories of him and Renee here, loving each other, marrying each other, giving birth to me, and the divorce. Why would you want to make yourself relive all of those things everyday by sticking around in the town that it all happened in?

I moved with my mother when she decided to end their marriage to Phoenix. We had a good life there, nothing that I wasn't expecting. But along comes Phil, her new husband, and life changes. She wants to travel with him as he plays baseball, and I just couldn't make her stay home just for me. So I packed my bags, hopped on a plane, and arrived here two days ago.

Life here hasn't changed. It was still cold and rainy. And _boring. _So boring that I wish I could pack up my bags and leave for Seattle or another city nearby.

With a sigh, I mentally flipped off the sign and took my first step into the ciaos that surrounded me. People moved out of my way but never took their eyes off me as I trudged up the steps to the school. By the time I was in the attendance office, I wanted to scream.

"May I help you with something, dear?" the receptionist asked as she gazed up at me behind her glasses. Her hair was a unnatural red that badly needed touched-up and her face was small. She was boring, just like the town.

"Um, yes. I'm new here," I replied. "I'm Isabella Swan, the chief's daughter."

A smile beamed across her face at the mention of my father. "Ah, Charlie told me he'd be having a new member coming to stay. It's very nice to meet you, Isa-"

"Just Bella, please," I interrupted.

"Bella." She smiled softer this time and began to type something up on the computer. After minutes of continuous clicking, she nodded to herself and grabbed the page that had just come out of the printer.

"Here you go," she said as she handed me my schedule. "You're first class is English with Mrs. Jackson in building three, room 301. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to stop back in here. I'll help you out."

I nodded and mumbled my thanks, dashing out the door without another glance back. I shoved the slip of paper into my pocket and nearly ran across the parking lot towards the building I saw earlier with a huge three on it. By the time I had made it to the door, I was winded and all my books had managed to slip out of my bag. I rolled my eyes up to the sky and cursed softly.

"You look like you need some help," a high-pitched voice said from behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw a pixie-looking girl smiling down at me.

"Yeah, I guess it does, doesn't it?" I replied with a sigh. "I'm Bella."

"Alice. It's nice to meet you." She bent down and grabbed some of my notebooks before handing them to me. I stuffed them back into my bag, not caring if they were bent or not, before fully looking at the girl next to me.

She was small for her age, ranging around five-foot. Her hair was cropped short with it sticking out at the ends, a bright red headband residing on top of her head. She wore very little make-up, but she didn't need it. Her face was flawless and her eyes were deep hazel pits. Her style was unique and all of her clothes were designer brands. Her shoes looked killer with a way too big of a heel for school topping them off.

This girl had money. And lots of it.

"Are you dashing off to English?" she asked with a soft giggle. I nodded. "Well, that makes two of us. Follow me."

We both stood up and she held the door open for me. I stepped into the warmth of the building and followed her as she clicked all the way down the hall until the second to last door. She smiled at me - I'm not sure if it was to reassure me that everything was fine, or if she was just being friendly - and opened the door. The teacher, Mrs. Jackson, stopped in the middle of her sentence and stared at us with icy eyes. I felt like dropping my head in shame. Alice stood there, hard as stone.

"Alice, you're late. Again," she said, her voice hard and cold. "And you are?"

"Bella Swan," I replied sheepishly.

She nodded once and marked something off on her clipboard before pointing at the only empty table in the room.

"Sit." And we did.

She continued on with her lesson, and after ten minutes of sitting there, I zoned out. I had already learned the things she was teaching, and I had done most of the assignments she had given us. Why should I have to listen to her and suffer as she goes on and on about Shakespeare? I shouldn't, so I didn't.

Alice poked me and brought me out of my trance. I heard her giggle softly before she stood up.

"Class is over," she said with a smile. "Time to move, or we'll be late again."

I nodded and stood, following after her as we pushed our way through the crowded hallway.

"So, where'd you move from?" she asked when we finally were free and was able to talk in a normal voice.

"Arizona. Phoenix, to be in fact," I replied as I gazed down at my schedule, searching for my next class. Alice ripped it out of my hands and pointed at a building. She handed it back, as if it was nothing.

"We have third period together," she stated. "And that's nice. Must be a huge change, though. There's no sun here, and… Well, you get the point."

I smiled and nodded. I was really starting to like this girl.

"So I'll see you third period, then?" Alice asked as she walked backwards. I nodded and headed into my next class, totally growing to like this town for the sake of having one friend.

**x-x-x-x-x**

Second and third period flew by in a daze. I remember walking to and from buildings, entering the classrooms, and then nothing. The lessons were unimportant to me, and the people in the class with me said two or three words to me. It was uneventful, just as I had expected.

All except for the sake of Alice. She was keeping me sane and from pulling my hair out from all the dullness around here.

"You'll get used to it after a few days or so," she said as we walked towards an empty table in the cafeteria. "This place sucks, and nothing exciting ever happens. That is, until baseball season." Her smile grew wide and she got a dreamy look in her eyes.

The only thing I was thinking was, _What's so great about baseball?_

"This place is known for the team," Alice explained, her fork stabbing into her salad. "They've gone to state three years in a row, all because of their best players. Whom you are about to meet."

The chairs around us screeched against the floor as five people sat down. I looked up from my soda bottle cap that I was twisting and was internally floored. How the hell am I meeting all the rich people? Shouldn't I be nonexistent today? My eyes moved to Alice with a glare, noticing her giddy expression. It was all her fault.

"Bella," she whispered to me. "You will _love _these guys. They're the best!"

The blonde beauty cleared her throat. "I'm Rosalie, and you are?"

I met her eyes and felt the need to disappear. She was beyond gorgeous, making me feel less than average.

"Bella Swan," I replied, my mood leaking through. She smiled and pointed to the huge, burly man sitting next to her with his hand in hers.

"This is Emmett, and that," she pointed to a bronze-haired god sitting across from me, "is his brother, Edward."

I smiled to my best ability as Edward's green eyes stared at me.

"Nice to meet you," I mumbled softly, forcing my eyes away from him.

Alice giggled softly and hitched an eyebrow up at me before saying, "Bella, this is Jasper, my boyfriend."

"Pleasure to meet you," he said with a heavy Texan accent.

"You too."

They went on with casual banter and I went back to twirling the bottle cap. I could feel eyes on me, and I tried to ignore it. That didn't work out too well because I ended up daring a glance up and met those piercing green eyes.

There was something about Edward that made me attracted to him. I didn't want to say it was his good looks, but it was close. Maybe it was the way he suited his team jacket? Or maybe it was his hair?

_Dear God. What the hell has gotten into me? Focus, Bella. You're _so _not his type._

I cleared my throat and focused my eyes back on the bottle cap, hoping the bell for fourth period would ring.

Thankfully, it did after a few minutes, and I was away from Edward and his eyes. I walked with Alice towards the science building, talking about her and only her as we entered. I didn't mind, I was happy to get the subject off of me. But when she parted ways with me, I couldn't help but miss her and the way she filled the silence between us with nonsense. By the time I was entering Biology, a grimace morphed my lips as I handed Mr. Banner my slip.

"Thank you, Ms. Swan," he replied before handing it back. I smiled softly and headed towards the only empty seat in the room.

My luck was officially not on my side today. Because the empty seat was right next to Edward.

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**So what do you think? Is it worth continuing? Let me know!**

Lyrics and story title are from the song You'll Never Know by VersaEmerge. Check it out!

Thank youuuuu, and loves for all of you!


	2. Come closer to me

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**Eight pages of this glorious story. I told you I'd make them longer. :)**

Enjoy!  
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_

_Come closer to me._

His green eyes met mine as I gingerly sat down on the stool. I managed a friendly smile up at him before I pulled my book out of my bag and placed it down on the lab table. I could still feel his eyes on me as I twirled my pencil around, my thoughts completely clouded with him. It was hard to breath with him looking at me like that, and all I wanted to do was run out of the door and to the safe haven of the cab of my truck. Anything would be better than sitting here with his eyes glued to me.

Luckily, Mr. Banner caught Edward in the act and called on him to answer his question that neither of us heard. Edward cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair, his eyes turning towards the teacher.

"DNA," Edward mumbled.

Mr. Banner hesitated before nodding his head and going back to his lecture. I heard Edward let out the heavy breath he was holding and the sound of papers shuffling as he tried to catch up.

"Here," I whispered, sliding my notebook over to where it was easy enough for him to read my horrible handwriting. "I've already covered this stuff back in Phoenix."

My eyes met with his, watching as the green of his burn with curiosity. He nodded once and began to write down the notes I've already taken. I watched him for a few minutes, trying to figure out why I was good enough for a head nod but nothing more. I tried to crack through his shield I knew he kept held high as I watched him, but nothing worked. I couldn't get through to him just by only his name, age, and sport activities. He wasn't the cover of a book.

The bell rang, causing me to jump. I wasn't aware of the time or place at the time of it, and Edward pushing my notebook back towards me startled me. He mumbled his thanks before slinging his bag over his shoulder and walking out of the room before everyone else. I quickly gathered my things, but stopped when I saw a letterman jacket with the name Cullen on the back of it. I snorted and rolled my eyes. Of course it just _had_ to be him.

I grabbed the fabric of the heavy jacket in my hand before rushing out of the door. I stopped and scanned the hallway, trying to find the only bronze hair in this entire school. Unfortunately, Alice stopped my search by latching onto my hand and pulling me out of the nearest exit. We stopped once we were a safe distance away from the crowd before she pointed at Edward's jacket in my hand.

"What the…?" she started to ask.

"Oh, he forgot it!" I shook my head, knowing that she was hinting at something else with that smile of hers. "I was just trying to return it, Alice."

Alice crossed her arms over her chest and let her head fall to the right. "That's weird. He never forgets his jacket. Anywhere. It's like his baby."

I shrugged. "Must've slipped his mind."

Alice sighed and shook her head before jumping back into her perky self. She smiled brightly at me and rose up an eyebrow. I internally cringed away from her, knowing that the only thing she could say would mean torture. It just seemed so Alice.

"Whatcha doin' after school?" she asked sweetly. She even bounced on her toes. Honestly, is she five?

"Nothing, why?"

She squealed and clapped her hands. "Good! You're coming shopping with me. You obviously don't have clothes that suit this place, so what better idea than shopping with your fashion-ista of a friend?"

I bit my lip. "I-I don't know, Alice…"

"Oh, come on. Just tell your dad you're with me and he'll say yes. The chief loves me and my family!" She smiled, got up on her toes, and patted the top of my head. "Just ask. I'll be at your house at five."

"Okay?" I replied, but she was long gone by the time the word slipped off my lips.

The rest of the day went on slowly. I was lucky enough to skip out on PE for today since it was the last day of an activity. I wasn't lucky enough to get out of Mike Newton coming up to me and trying to ask me out on a date for the millionth time today. I was about ready to punch the kid in the face by the time the last bell for the day rang.

Walking out into the spitting rain, I clutched Edward's letterman jacket and searched for him. I found him lounging against a silver Volvo with iPod earphones in his ear. I slowly walked up to him, the song he was listening to getting louder with each step. He dropped the little book he was looking at and met my eyes as I stopped in front of him. One of his hands went up to pull an earphone from his ear as his eyes grew curious. I simply held up his jacket and shrugged.

"You left it in biology."

He took it from me and wrapped it around his torso. I could see the smile morph his lips, giving his facial features a softer look than his usual brooding expression. He tugged on the front of it before letting it fall against his chest. His green eyes met mine again, the smile still on his lips.

"Thank you," he said in that velvety smooth voice. My breathing hitched up a notch.

"No problem," I replied in a quiet voice.

I started to take steps back, knowing that it was time to leave. But his soft whisper of my name stopped me. I turned back to him and saw him staring down at the ground, his hands shoved into his pockets.

"Yes?"

"We didn't really get to introduce ourselves properly," he said with a soft, crooked smile.

I smiled and nodded. "No, I guess we didn't."

Edward held out a hand in front of him. "I'm Edward Cullen."

My eyes fell to his outstretched hand before going back up to his. The smile was gone from his face and his eyes blazed with something I couldn't put my finger on. We stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds, the air around us coming alive with electric heat. My hand instinctively move towards his before my skin came in contact with his. My hand fit perfectly in his as he shook it for a brief amount of time. He let my hand fall from his before replacing it back by his side.

"Bella," I whispered. "Bella Swan."

Edward nodded and smiled again. "Nice to you meet you."

"You, too."

The air around us continued to fill with electric heat. I wrapped my arms around myself to keep my hands at bay. It was hard enough with the way he was looking down at me. And when did he get so close? I clearly remember him being at least five feet away from me. What the hell happened?

"I-I should probably head home," I stumbled out in a soft whisper. Edward nodded and ran a hand through his hair, taking a collective step back.

"Of course," he replied. "Sorry for you keeping you."

I shook my head and tried to tell him he was wrong, but he held up a hand. I smiled up at him, hoping he'd take the hint that his apology was accepted. He waved before getting into the seat of his car, leaving me standing there with my arms wrapped tightly around me. He sped off into the distant, the sound of heavy rock music blaring from the opened windows.

Somehow, the faster he left, the lonelier I felt.

Knowing that I had to face home sooner or later, I took a look around the parking lot. There wasn't any sign of life now that the last bell had rung. The only other car besides my truck was one of the teachers, making the lonely feeling in my chest to become stronger.

It wasn't that I was so much as dreading about going home. It was just that I did _not _want to face my father. Especially now.

My father and I had a little fall out back when I was thirteen. We argued about me staying there for a summer when I really didn't want to, and somehow it elated to him raising up a hand and smacking me across the face. I ran straight to my room and dialed the number of my house back in Phoenix, demanding my mother to buy me a ticket home. I didn't explain why I needed one so bad, but thankfully I didn't have to. My mother understood after hearing the tears in my voice.

This was the first time I've been back here with him. The car ride home from the airport was silent. The first night I stayed was silent. Our first dinner together was completely and utterly silent.

Everything was silent between us.

It shouldn't be like this. I should _want _my father's love instead of hate it. I should _want _to have a conversation with my father. I should _want _my father to hold me when I have a bad day.

But… I don't. And I don't feel bad about it.

With a sigh, I got into the cab of my truck before turning the key in the ignition. The truck roared to life as I floored the gas pedal, taking unnecessary back roads to give me more time. Before I knew it, I was pulling into the driveway, the lights of the house signaling I wasn't alone. I sat there with the truck running just thinking about how much I missed being with my mother.

But she wasn't here. Charlie was here.

_Get used to it, kid._

I walked into the house with a frown. I dropped my bag to the floor and pulled my boots off as footsteps descended down the stairs. I heard him grunt in a greeting before marching off towards the kitchen. The sound of a beer bottle opening filling the silence seconds after.

"Hi to you, too, Dad," I mumbled to myself as I glared in his direction. "Oh, my day was great. Thanks for asking."

Charlie continued to stand there with his back towards me. I didn't hide my hate towards the man as I walked towards the staircase. He knew I didn't like him, and we had a silent agreement that neither of us would speak to one another unless we absolutely had to. That's just how it was between us.

I stopped myself, mentally smacking myself in the forehead.

I absolutely had to talk to him. For the sake of getting out of the house with Alice.

_I am going to kill her!_

With a strained sigh, I about-faced and marched right back down the steps. I stomped all the way into the kitchen before stopping and letting out an overly obnoxious breath. Charlie spun around and glared at me with angry eyes. I shrugged and stood my ground, not really afraid but still kind of afraid at the same time.

"What?" he grunted.

"I need your permission, sir."

"On what?" His brown eyes grew curious as he turned to fully face me. I stood up straighter and ran a hand through my hair.

"Uh… A-Alice Brandon wants me to go shopping with her around five," I said softly. My eyes fell to the floor, unable to look into his any longer. I knew what was coming next, and I hated seeing the rejection glare back at me through the color of his eyes.

A silence fell upon us before he sighed and asked, "Brandon, you say?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Good set of parents," he mumbled. "You can go."

I smiled briefly and nodded. I left the kitchen, leaving him with mumbled thanks, and rushed up the stairs to the sanctuary of my room. The door slammed behind me, and I rested my back against it. My heart hammered in my chest as I waited for heavy footfalls to race up the stairs. But they never came.

He was actually letting me leave. _That's a first…_

For the remaining hour and a half I had before Alice was due to arrive, I unpacked some of the things that were still in boxes. It wasn't much seeing as how it was a hundred degrees colder here than it was in Phoenix, but it was enough for me. I didn't need a lot of material things. I wasn't that type of girl.

A knock on my door broke me out of my trance. I hesitantly headed towards it before flipping the lock and pulling it open. I was attacked by a small pixie as she wrapped her arms around me and squealed. I nearly fell on my ass from it.

"Geeze, Alice," I complained as she got back on her own two feet. "A little warning would be nice."

She giggled. "Oh, please. People love my hugs!"

_Oh, really? Are they crazy?_

"Sure they do."

Alice rolled her eyes. I watched her as she scanned my room, her lips puckered up in a grimace.

"What?" I asked.

"It's so… _not_ girly," she replied with a sigh. "Eh, it'll do for now. Let's go!"

I rolled my eyes, but grabbed my jacket. "It's purple. How is that not girly?"

"Pink is girly, not purple."

Alice walked out of the door and I followed closely behind her. She continued to go on about how pink was girly and what else was classified in that category. I listened with only half of my attention. My main focus was on Charlie as we passed the living room. He didn't even look up when the front door opened.

Typical.

Alice went on before me over to a yellow Porsche. I stopped dead in my tracks, my jaw falling to the wet ground in surprise. I knew she had a nice car, but… _Damn._

"Alice, what the hell?"

"What?" she replied with a shrug. "Daddy got it for me."

"I wonder what else Daddy has bought his little princess," I whispered to myself as I walked over to the passenger's side. I hopped in and she sped off to wherever she had planned on going.

She turned off on a dirt road. I looked over to her with curious eyes but all she did was smile and say, "Sorry. I forgot something at home. I didn't think you would mind."

I shook my head. "Of course not."

She smiled again and parked the car. "I didn't think you would. You can come in if you'd like."

We both got out of her expensive car and I followed her up the long path of cobble stone steps towards the most amazing house I've ever seen. Most of the walls were just glass, letting in what light that could pass through the dense clouds into the spacious looking rooms. There was a living garden to the right of the house, filled with all kinds of colors from the flowers. It reminded me of my mother's garden back in Phoenix.

I sighed, knowing that thinking about her would only make me miss her even more. Now was the time to act happy for Alice's sake. Not to sulk. Sulking is for later on tonight.

Alice pulled open the front door and rushed up the stairs after telling me to wait down here for her. I complied and took a look around. I noticed that there was a faint sound of piano being played above me, the sweet melodies flowing throughout the spacious house. It was beautiful and haunting at the same time, like whoever the composer was, was trying to give away all of their misery in the piece. I wanted to find whoever it was, but an older, beautiful looking woman walked into the room, stopping me dead in my tracks.

"Oh, hello," she said. Her voice was welcoming and warm, a mother's voice. She had long caramel hair that flowed in waves down to the middle of her back. She smiled kindly at me. "You must be Ali's new friend. I'm Esme, her aunt."

"Hi, I'm Bella," I replied. I outstretched my hand and shook hers. "You're her aunt? Where's her parents?"

I knew I shouldn't be prying, but I _was_ curious.

"They decided to take a vacation to Europe," she said with a chuckle. "Those two… They're so in love. It was no wonder they didn't take their little _vacation _sooner."

Her smile moved into me, warming up my heart. I couldn't help but smile and giggle along with her. There was something about this woman that signaled to you that no harm would come to you from her. She reminded me so much of Renee, but then I noticed how completely different the two were. Esme was kind and warm; Renee was eccentric and always moving, barely stopping for me sometimes.

Missing my mother lessened as Emse and I began to have a conversation about something so small that it was easy for us to be around each other. She was just so… _nice_ – completely taking away that hole in my heart from missing Renee for a moment.

Alice hopped down the stairs a few minutes later, a smile brightening her face. She hugged Esme and stepped to stand beside me. Esme nodded to the both of us before turning to walk up the stairs, but Alice stopped her by grabbing her arm.

"Don't," she whispered to her. "He's really not in the mood for people. Especially us."

Esme's smile faltered, but she regained her composure instantly as she said, "Well, the boy needs to eat something. He's been up there since he got back from practice. He has to be starving!"

Alice laughed softly. "Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you."

They both fell silent, letting the soft sounds of the piano above us to fill the room once again. This time it was more sad and depressed than before. The haunting feeling I got from the first piece was still there, only more defined, making me want to run up the stairs to whoever was playing and to take away the pain they were feeling.

"He's getting worse," Emse mumbled softly. I looked over to her and saw tears in her hazel eyes threating to spill over.

"He'll get better," Alice whispered with determination clear in her voice. "He has to."

Esme sighed and headed up the stairs. Alice latched onto my hand and pulled me behind her out the door. I heard the sounds of piano keys being slammed down on before the door completely shut behind me. As we walked, I tried to look up into the window and see what was happening. Of course there were curtains blocking my view. Of course.

Once we were safely back in the car, Alice started to drive back down the long driveway. She still had that worried look on her face, but tried to smile at me every time she caught my stare. I had to bite my lip to restrain from asking her who she was talking about.

But, knowing exactly what I wanted, Alice began to speak.

"I'm sorry you had to hear all of that," she said softly. "He hasn't touched his piano in months, so it was strange to have him do that."

Alice looked over to me and sighed, knowing that I had no idea on who she was talking about.

"He is Edward. Our lonely, upset soul of the family," she stated. "He's been like this for almost a year now. All because of a nice – no, not nice. She's far from nice."

"Alice, what the hell are you going on about?" I asked when she paused to take in a breath.

She looked over to me and bit her lip. Not a good sign.

"I don't think it's my place to say, Bella." Her eyes flashed to mine before going back to the road. That's not a good sign, either.

"Because?"

"Because you're the one girl besides family that he's spoken to," she replied sadly. "And I think that means something."

I wanted to ask Alice what she was talking about, but then it hit me.

Edward didn't speak to other girls outside of Alice and Rosalie… but he spoke to me. And he shook my hand. He _felt _the electric heat that surrounded us earlier.

So had I caused the misery filled music? Had I been the reason he was upset?

"W-what does that mean?" I asked in a shaky voice.

"It means that you'll have to let him explain," she replied with an apologetic smile. "I think there's hope still left for him. And I think you're the one to push him in the right direction."

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**Oh, I know. I'm terrible. How could I _ever_ think of doing this to you guys? (:**

I'm sorry, but it will all be explained in due time! I promise!

Song lyrics from the brand spankin' new song "Closer" by Anberlin. Their new CD is absolutely amazing, and I have a feeling it will influnece this story a lot. Soooo, you guys should go have a listen! I don't think you'll regret it.

Reviews are scarce. What happened? ):

Let's make up for it with this one? I'd absolutely love it.

Lovelovelove!

Come closer to me.


	3. What if I wanted to break?

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Hello my pretties. It's been a few weeks.

Edward's chapter this time. They're relativly short because he's a brief guy and doesn't like explaining things just yet. Bare with him, it's a hard life for him.

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_What if I wanted to break?_

Fingers moved across the white keys with precision and unending need. I watched as my own hands found the right key as if it was finding its home. The notes that were produced swirled like smoke, coming together as one to make something so beautiful and yet so haunting. It pushed many away, signaling that I wasn't sane enough for mundane conversations. The music filled the room, surrounding me and filling up the void slightly in my chest. It was cold as it touched my heart, making myself feel even number.

I laughed viciously to myself, knowing that this was exactly how I felt. Cold, numb, and unwelcoming.

A knock echoed off the wood of the door and my hands slammed down on the precious keys. I spun around on the bench I was sitting atop off and glared at the door. My mind screamed at them, telling them to go away, but my voice mumbled, "Come in."

Esme stepped through the door with an apologetic smile. In her hands she carried a plate filled to the brim with food. She held it up and said, "I thought you'd be hungry."

I shook my head. "No. I'm not."

She sighed and placed the plate on the nearest table she was standing by. Her hands fisted on her hips as she stared down at me, her anger rising.

Esme was a kind, loving mother, but whenever you did something she didn't like, you knew it. She would verbally tell you the shit you've done wrong and make you feel like an asshole for days about it. It's one of the favorite pastimes we share, seeing as how I'm a downright asshole a hundred percent of the time.

"And why not?" she asked with a calm, collected voice. She used this voice first because she knew I was fragile.

"Because I'm just not, Mom," I replied with a groan. My head fell into my hands. "Can we not do this now?"

She grew silent for a moment before whispering, "I'm sorry, Edward. I'm just worried about you."

I sighed into my fingers and rubbed at my temple. A headache was building there already, knowing that another sleepless night was on its way. It's been like this for months on end.

_All because of you… Why did you do this to me?_

A sob erupted from my chest and Esme rushed over to where I was, her hands gripping my shoulders tightly as she held me close to her chest. Her fingers massaged my scalp as she ran them through the strands of my hair. It was the one thing she knew that would actually calm me down completely. She let me cry to her, grasp and pull her clothes until they were askew, and listened to me when I cursed and thrashed out about the pain I was feeling.

I looked up at my mother and sighed loudly. She used the pad of her thumbs to wipe away any visible tears on my cheeks as she whispered, "Oh, Edward… It'll get better. I promise you, it will."

A laugh bubbled up and out of my lips. There was no humor laced within it, just pure coldness.

"I don't think so," I whispered back, my words mixing together to sound like a hiss. "She's torn me apart, leaving me broken and unfixable."

Esme shook her head, her own tears spilling from her beautiful hazel eyes. She hugged me closer to her and let her fingers play in my hair again.

"You don't believe that," she said to me sternly. "You're better than that. You're better than her."

"No," I breathed. "I'm not."

Esme stood up and glared down at me. I shrank down in my seat, feeling young and worthless as she looked down on me. I knew she meant business, but I really didn't want to deal with anything right now.

I didn't want to be reminded.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, you are too. You are young and you are my son. I know you better than you think I do." She sighed and ran a hand through her long, luscious hair. "Why can't you _see_ that? Why can't you get back on your feet? What happened to your confidence?"

"I-"

"What happened to my son?" she whispered. Her hazel eyes found mine and all I could see in hers was sadness and disappointment. The shame that washed over me was unbearable.

I bowed me head. I had nothing left to say about this. I was spent on the conversation.

Esme's heels clicked on the floor as she made her exit. The door closed silently behind her, closing me off from civilization again. I rose up my head and gazed out of the window, my thoughts completely drowned in the misery she had brought onto me.

My mother was right – who am I now? I barely could recognize myself, let alone figure out how I was supposed to gain back my trust and confidence when the only one I truly loved and cared for burned it all down to the ground, taking me down with it.

And it's been a year since she left, why can't I get over her? I knew that our love was blind and innocent, but I didn't know _her._ She completely changed when we finally got together. I thought I knew her so well, and she goes and changes her looks, personality, and friends. I was the only one mixed in with her life that knew the real her. Everyone else saw a fake smile and girl.

_She hid away so well…_

We made it work though. After everything, I'll still remember that about us. We could make it work again. She just needs to come back to me, that's all.

_Are you even sure you want her again? _My mind retorted, bringing on another wave of uncertainty and pain.

I've been battling with myself like this the whole year she's been gone. It doesn't get any easier. I don't think it ever will…

I drew in a deep breath and stood, taking a glance around my disorganized room. There was no trace of her being in here, but I knew. I could feel her presence as if she was standing right beside me, her hand moving to grasp mine. Her cool fingers intertwined with mine and gave them a squeeze. My eyes gazed to my left and met soft caramel eyes that looked so sad that it made me want to cry for her.

"I'll come back to you," she whispered in her sweet melody voice. Her eyes swirled with love and need. "I'll always come back to you, Edward."

My bottom lip trembled as I continued to gaze at the ghost of the only girl I've ever loved. Her cool fingers begin to slide away from mine, and I tried my best to grasp onto them again. She shook her head at me, her strawberry blonde curls swaying with the motion.

"We can't," she said. She let her head fall and her hair fell past her shoulders, blocking her face from me. "Not yet. If we do, it'll only get worse for you."

"Tanya…" I breathed out, reaching out to her again. Her figure took a step back and shook her head again.

"No. Wait for me. I'll come back. I promise you that."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and let my hands fall back down to my sides. My tongue slid out between my lips and wetted them, feeling the rough, chapped skin. My heart shattered as I watched her begin to fade, her features mixing together as one shadow. I desperately wanted to touch her again; to try and make her real, but I stopped myself with one question.

"When will you?"

Her caramel eyes found mine as she looked back up towards me. Her smile was as breathtaking as I remembered it, and I lost the air in my lungs from it. It's been months since I've seen her smile like that.

"Soon, I promise," she replied with the smile still playing with her lips.

I nodded and moved towards her, only stopping myself when I saw that her figure was nearly gone. She frowned at me and shrugged, a single tear sliding down her cheek. Only I would know that was her I-really-hate-this stance.

"I love you," she whispered. "I always will."

And then she was gone.

I couldn't process the amount of time it took me to finally make myself move. I only knew that the sky turned from gray to black. The wind had picked up as rain began to splatter against the clear glass of the window. My feet moved me closer to it before I sat down in front of it, just like I had when I was little. My eyes looked out for something – anything – to take my mind off Tanya. I watched as headlights wound their way up the long driveway before stopping in front of the garage. Alice hopped out of the driver's side as Bella got out of the other side.

I watched with mild curiosity as she moved, calculating her every move. She walked with a sense of shyness around her. She was always on guard, for what I didn't know. Whenever Alice would come into close contact with her, I noticed that she would stiffen before realizing her mistake. She'd soften as Alice weaved her arm in with Bella's, pulling her along with her up the front steps to the door. I caught her soft brown eyes as they flickered up towards the window.

_Caught you._

She blinked furiously as she moved her eyes away from the window. She let a hand wave through her hair as she walked, completely oblivious to the fact that Alice had saw the entire thing. Alice looked up to me and rolled her eyes with a smile on her face. She winked at me, signaling that we would talk later on tonight.

I stood up and walked back over to my piano. I let my fingers run over the smooth ivory keys as I sat down. They found their home again as I started the familiar song I had wrote the first time I had met Tanya. It chilled the air around me as I turned it into something more brooding and sad. It resembled exactly how I felt.

For the rest of the night I stayed locked away in my room, my only confident being my piano as I let the sorrow consume me completely.

* * *

**And now we understand him a little better. He's a troubled guy.**

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	4. It's a very, very mad world

**Sorry for not updating this story for a while. I couldn't get this chapter right up until now, so I mainly stuck with my other stories.**

**I promise to get the epilogue for TRU soon! I'm perfecting it, so don't worry!**

**Enjoy!**

****_

* * *

It's a very, very mad world_

Edward didn't show up to school the next day. My heart sank as I pulled into the parking lot that morning, noticing his empty spot next to Jasper's truck. I felt all of the things I did yesterday, the sound of his sad piano music rushing back into my ears. I could feel my hands gripping the steering wheel with all my strength as I tried to shove it out of my mind. Now wasn't the time to think about it. I had all night to process over it.

I couldn't sleep because of it. There's was just something in those songs he played that haunted my heart. I tried so hard to process through it all, but I always came up blank, asking myself two questions: Why was he so sad? And what had made him turn into this? I just couldn't figure him out.

A knock on my window brought me out of my thoughts, causing me to jump. My knee bumped into the steering wheel, and I had to bite my lip to keep from cursing loudly. I turned my face to see who it was, and wasn't surprised it was Alice, her anger at my lateness burning through her ice blue eyes. I got out of the cab of my old truck as I fast as I could.

"Are you just completely out of it today, or is there something seriously wrong?" she asked as we walked towards our first class. I noticed that there were dark circles under her eyes as she looked up at me, but didn't think anything about it. She and Jasper probably stayed up all night doing… _things._

I shrugged, trying to brush off her suspicion. "There's nothing wrong, Alice. It's a normal day, just like every other day."

"But you did notice that he isn't here."

_Busted._

She smirked and pushed her elbow into my ribs as my steps faltered. She knew that I was a little attracted to him and loved to rub it into my face. I couldn't admit to her that his personality is what caught my eye the most. We both knew that he wasn't in the right state of mind for a relationship, and his personality warned girls of it.

Fortunately for me, that wasn't the case. I was hooked, and I wanted to crack the code that was Edward.

I was so screwed.

"I did," I said to her after a beat of silence, the only sound around us being the wind howling and students trying to catch up about how their night went. "But that doesn't mean anything."

She squinted her eyes at me and nodded, a small smile on her lips.

"Riiiiight," she drawled.

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up."

Today we managed to make it to English on time, much to Mrs. Jackson's surprise. I listened for the most part, but my mind always seemed to weave its way back onto Edward. It was like that all day, and I couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't shown up for school. Was he sick? Was he playing his piano all day? What could he possibly be doing?

Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie picked up on my distracted mood during lunch. They did all they could do bring me into the conversation and keep me there, but I just couldn't. I ended up staring out the large windows, watching people walk by, my lunch completely forgotten and my mind filled with the sad piano music.

Biology passed in a blur. I did the assignment without a second thought, and sat there in silence for the rest of the period. Mike came up to me once, but I couldn't tell you what for. All I saw was his blue-green eyes and mouth moving without any words coming out of it.

I skipped gym class, opting to just go home. Charlie was there when I arrived, but didn't say anything about me being there. I could feel his eyes on me as I marched my way up the stairs, knowing that he was somewhat disappointed. But I didn't care. It wasn't like this was the first time he's been disappointed in me.

I flopped down on my bed, my back connecting with the stiff mattress. My eyes were glued on the ceiling as I thought about Edward's green eyes, and how sad they were. Everything about him was sad; his stance, his speech, his face, and his eyes. It was like he couldn't surface from the ocean of depression that he was in. I felt bad for him, and I wanted to do anything I could to help him reach it.

The next time I opened my eyes, it was dark out. I somehow managed to fall asleep for three hours, and I felt stiff. My phone beeped as I picked it up from where I had thrown it, seeing that Alice had called three times and left a voicemail. I listened as she voiced her worry when I didn't meet her after the last period of the day and how she was going to stop by later on tonight. I didn't call her back, knowing that she'd be here soon enough, demanding for some sort of an explanation.

Charlie left for work during the time I slept, so I was free to walk down the stairs without having to hide my every thought. I turned on the radio as I chopped up some lettuce for a salad, mixing in the tomatoes and whatever I could find that would make it taste all right. I ate three whole bites of it before my appetite vanished completely as I continued to think about Edward.

I just couldn't escape him, and I was drowning in it.

I heard the door click as Alice let herself in. She dropped her wet rain jacket on the ground as she kicked off her boots.

"Eat some more, woman," she yelled. "I know you need to."

I shook my head and pushed the bowl away. She shrugged and took it, scooping up a forkful of the green mixture. I watched as she ate, waiting for her to being the Spanish Inquisition. She placed the bowl back on the table once she was finished, her eyes meeting mine for the first time since she arrived.

"So, where'd you go today? You just disappeared," she started with, opting to go easy on me for once.

"I came here," I said, knowing she wanted nothing but the truth. "I fell asleep, that's why I didn't answer your calls. Sorry."

She waved her hand. "Don't worry about that. But… tell me why you've been so distracted? All day you've been in this funk. What's up?"

I sighed, looking down at the warn wood of the table. Alice could have easily figured this out on her own, which I know she has, but she wanted me to say it out loud so she had proof.

"Edward," I whispered. "That's what's up."

Alice stopped making circles on the bottom of the bowl with her fork, her fingers slipping from the metal. It clanked against the ceramic loudly.

"Bella," she warned, "don't do this."

"Do what, Alice? I have no idea on what you mean."

She sighed and glared at me. "You do too. Look, you've only been here for a few days, and you're starting to think that you have the right to rip this poor guy open and change his inner chemistry. But you can't, Bella. Trust me, I've tried. He's stuck like this."

"So, I take it he wasn't like this before?" I asked, picking up on the fact that she hinted around it.

She shook her head. "No. Of course not. But he's like this now, and that doesn't change a thing."

I had to bite my lip, keeping myself from arguing with her. Alice has known him far longer than I have from having to grow up with him, but I just couldn't let this go. If Edward was different back then, why is he like this now? What happened to him? And why was everyone so okay with it? Shouldn't they have wanted him back to normal, and not how he is?

I know I would.

"Go ahead," Alice whispered. "Ask away. I can see it eating away at you on your face."

"What was he like?"

"He was… _happy."_ She shrugged. "That's it. He was simply happy."

I nodded, taking that much. Alice wasn't going to give me more, but I didn't need it. Edward could be happy, he _had _been happy. He was capable of being happy once again; someone just had to help him get through this impending sadness he wrapped himself in.

"You told me not to do this, Alice," I said softly. "But someone has to. Someone has to make him feel that again."

She sighed, her eyes closed as she shook her head back and forth. My heart sank.

"You can't, Bella," she whispered. "No one can."

She stood up and walked slowly towards the front door. She picked up her coat as she slipped her small feet back into her boots. Once she had everything on, she turned back towards me with a sad smile. I could see the tears threatening to spill over in her eyes.

"I know you won't listen to me, and I'm sorry about that, Bella. I really am," she said. "But I do wish that you would because this will only put you into something you wish you could escape. I told you before that Edward has wounds that he doesn't like to talk about, and this will be hard. But start by being his friend, okay? That's all there is to it. From there, we'll see how it goes."

I nodded. "Okay. Thanks, Ali."

"Good night, Bella. I'll see you in the morning."

She turned around and opened the door. The rain outside had picked up, and she hesitated before stepping into it. Headlights brightened the room, but soon were gone. I was once again left to my thoughts, the emptiness feeling thick.

I was going to try. I just had to, but I couldn't help but feel scared and hesitant. Alice's warning rang in my head as I lay in bed that night. Could I really do this without pushing him to the edge and over it? Was I willing to do that to myself?

I closed my eyes and nodded to myself. I had to do this, for him and me.

**x-x-x-x**

Edward was there Friday morning. I smiled to myself as I took in him in as I pulled into my spot. He wore a light gray v-neck t-shirt with a black hoodie. He had his signature Ray Bans covering his eyes and he was smiling somewhat to Alice as they talked.

I could tell today was going to be a good day just from that one smile.

I hopped out of the cab of my truck and headed over to them. I looped my arm through Alice's free one, smiling at her as a greeting. My eyes moved over to Edward, locking onto his covered ones. I smiled shyly at him, a blush creeping onto my cheeks as he nodded once at me.

"Bella, what are you plans for tonight?" Alice asked, pulling my gaze away from him.

I shrugged. "Nothing, why?"

Her smile grew. "Because Newton's throwing a huge ass party tonight after the game. You in?"

"I don't know, Alice," I replied hesitantly. Charlie would kill me if he knew I went to it. He would think that I was rebelling, and I didn't want to have to live through that.

I shivered at the thought, flinching away from Alice's arm. I unwrapped her arm from around me and took a step back, taking in a deep breath as I tried to rid my head of the thought of it. Alice looked at me with worried eyes, but I smiled at her, hoping that would deflect her questions for now. Thankfully, it worked.

"Please, Bella," she begged with a child's voice. "I don't want to be there all by myself!"

Jasper stiffened next to her. "You won't be. Rose, Em, and I will be there."

"See! There's no reason for me to even go," I said with a smile at Jasper. He winked at me, a knowing smile on his face.

Alice glared at her boyfriend. "Shut up, Jazz. I still want Bella to be there." She turned towards me and pouted. "Please, Bella? I promise that it'll be worth it."

I looked over to Edward, taking in his shaking from. I crossed my arms over my chest. How dare he laugh at me and my misery, even if it was from having to suffer through a shitty party. And why the hell wasn't he going? Someone should drag him into it, and I think that 'someone' will be me.

"Okay, fine," I conceded. "But only if Edward goes too. I think that seems fair."

He stopped shaking in an instant. A smug smirk took permanent placement on my face.

_Take that, smartass._

Alice grinned wickedly. "Of course. Edward loves this kind of thing. Don't you, cousin?"

"No."

"So, it's settled?" she asked, completely ignoring Edward. "We're all going to Newton's tonight after we beat down the boys from the Rez in some classic football?"

Edward groaned, grabbing a fistful of his hair. All the faces in our group smiled as they nodded, all except him. My own smile faltered as I watched him shut himself down.

_Well, there goes the good day._

We all separated after that, heading to our respected classes. Alice and I gushed about what outfit we were going to wear, and how we were going to style our hair. Of course Alice shut down everything I thought about, completely taking my makeover into her own hands. I was only slightly afraid, noting that I'll probably be wearing something that didn't cover that much skin. But I remembered that it was a party, and I wouldn't be the only one wearing something skimpy, so I sucked it up by the end of third period.

Lunch was eventful, to say the least.

"Edward, you've been nothing but moody since we dragged you into going," Alice said with anger biting at her words. She had been trying to get him to participate in the conversation, but he wouldn't have it. He would just sit there, his stupid Ray Bans glued onto his nose. I had to resist the urge to smack them off. I could tell Alice did too.

He shrugged. "Your point?"

She glared. "You should be excited, that's my point. You haven't gotten out of the house in weeks. Certainly you've grown tired of it?"

"Not really."

Alice's glare turned cold as she eyed him. Jasper had to grab one of her hands to bring her back down, squeezing it as she breathed deeply. Rosalie and Emmett watched Edward with knowing eyes, and I wanted to ask them why they were just accepting his behavior. Was Alice and I the only one who thought it was wrong, or were we just plain crazy?

After that, Edward stood up and walked out of the cafeteria, pushing some poor freshman out of his way. My eyes lingered on his back as I watched him go, confusion taking a hold on my mind. My leg shook as I sat there for the remainder of the lunch period, but I was up and out of the room before the bell had even finished ringing. I rushed into biology, but stopped in the doorway when I saw him.

He looked so… _defeated. _He had his head in his hands, and his shoulders were slumped, almost like he had been fighting for so long and couldn't anymore. I could hear his mumbling from where I stood, but it stopped once the sound of my footsteps reached his ears. He flinched as I sat down beside him, inching away inconspicuously from me.

"You don't have to go if you don't want to," I blurted out before I could stop myself. "That was selfish of me to say, and I'm sorry. I understand why you don't want to go."

He dropped his hands as he laughed once. It sounded clipped and humorless, icing my bones with its venom.

"No. You do not understand," he said disdainfully. "You will never understand why, Bella. No one ever will."

"I would if you told me."

I knew I shouldn't have said it when he slammed a fist down onto the lab table. I was surprised that it didn't crack. The people that had managed to witness all of this so far eyed me sadly, but didn't linger longer than necessary. They were scared, not knowing how extreme Edward could get. I couldn't blame them.

"I will never tell you anything," he hissed out with a glare.

I nodded, blinking my eyes to keep the tears from spilling over. I felt ashamed that I had even tried, but most of all I felt hurt.

Being his friend was going to be harder than I thought and it was going to hurt more than I thought. But I knew that I had to try. I was going to stick with him even when he tries to send me away because that's what everyone else did. They left when he wished it, even when that wasn't really his intentions.

The late bell rang, ending our conversation there. Edward moved his chair all the way over to the edge of his side of the table, keeping one of his hands over his eyes as he wrote the notes. I would cautiously look over to him through my curtain of hair that I swept over my shoulder, noticing that his leg shook and his hand was clenching the pen tightly. He was fighting the urge to run.

I ripped a piece of notebook paper out and scribbled a note to him on it. If I was going to try and be his friend, I was going to have to fix this first.

_You don't have to tell me anything. I shouldn't have said that, and I'm sorry. I would love it if you showed up to the party. Forgive me?_

I folded the paper into a tiny square and slid it towards him. I went back to writing the notes Mr. Banner was showing us up on the projector, but watched the paper. It lingered in the middle of us for a while before he picked it up and read it. My eyes followed the flow of his pen as he wrote a reply. I took it eagerly from his fingers after he refolded it and held it up. I unfolded it quickly and began to read what he wrote.

_You're forgiven. Excuse my temper, it got out of hand. I'll think about it, and let you know if I do decide to go or not. Give me your number so I can text you later and tell you?_

I quickly scrawled out my phone number before writing down my thanks. He put the square into the pocket of his jeans. A small smile graced his lips when he caught my stare after class had ended. He didn't rush out of the classroom before everyone else today, opting to linger behind to walk by my side. I guess I really was forgiven if he managed to do this.

"Are you going to the football game before if you do go?" I asked as we walked, clutching my books tightly to my chest. I hoped he would say yes because I really didn't want to sit through two hours of football without him there.

He shrugged as he slid his sunglasses onto his face. "I'm not sure. I wasn't planning on it. Are you?"

"I have to," I replied with a smile. "Alice is making me."

He chuckled and nodded. "Of course. My cousin can be very persuasive."

"Yeah, she can be."

"Speaking of," he said softly with a frown. "I should probably go apologize to her. I shouldn't have acted like that during lunch. She didn't deserve any of it."

"Okay. I'll see you later?"

To say I wasn't hopeful was an understatement.

He nodded and smiled down at me. "Maybe. I'll text you later."

I nodded and watched as he started to walk away, stuffing his hands into his pockets. He caught up with Alice before she could run towards me, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to whisper in her ear. I noticed that she looked over at it towards me with a knowing smile.

She was defiantly going to try to get everything out of me after school.

I got a good lecture from my gym teacher about skipping yesterday. I listen partly and ran my laps like he instructed before jumping into the game of volleyball that was happening. I managed to stay hidden in the corner, out of the ball's line of sight. I got dressed quickly and rushed outside to meet Alice by my truck.

"You will tell me what happened during biology, got it?" she demanded as she hopped into the passenger seat. "I want every single damn detail, too. No keeping things from me!"

I laughed with her as I pulled out of the parking lot. I waved at Edward as he got into his car as I passed, but I don't think he saw me.

"Okay, okay," I said. "I'll tell you later. First, can we please get to your house? I need to pee."

Alice giggled. "Fine, but after you're done relieving yourself, you spill!"

"Deal."

Alice turned up the radio and rolled her window down. The sun beamed down on us as I drove towards the Cullen's house. When I looked up into my rear-view mirror, I noticed that a silver Volvo was tailing me. Edward waved once and sped up, getting right on the tail of my truck. I shook my head and flipped him the finger. I watched as he laughed and he eased up on the gas.

The good day that wasn't so good was turning into what looked like a good night.

* * *

**Football, a party, and maybe some kisses? ;)**

**You'll just have to wait and see, my pretties!**

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	5. Repeat it slow

**And I'm back! Not too long ago, I suppose, but it was still a while.**

**I took my ACT today. Holy hell, I felt soooo stupid afterwards. I don't think that's a good sign.**

**Anywho, enjoy!**

_

* * *

_

_Repeat it slow._

"You are going to look so good once I'm done with you," Alice said with a smug smile.

She was holding up some clothes of mine that I kept over at her aunt's house after our night of shopping. Alice was obviously planning to attend this party way before today, forcing me to go even if I had said no. She's such a little sneaky witch.

"Sure, Ali," I replied without looking up from the book I was reading. "Whatever you say."

The shuffling noise she was making stopped after a few seconds of silence. I dared a glance up through my lashes and caught her annoyed glare. I smiled sweetly at her, hoping that she would go easy on me for not paying any attention to what she had been saying for the past hour. She shook her head slowly back and forth, her eyes narrowed. I could feel my smile turn into a frown with each passing minute.

I was in trouble. A lot of trouble.

"Isabella Marie Swan," she hissed out. Her tiny fists were clenching a deep red blouse and a denim skirt tightly. "Put the book away. _Now."_

"Okay, okay," I said in surrender. "I'll put it away. Geeze."

I grabbed my bag from where I had dropped it and stuffed the book back in to it. Before I could even zip the stupid thing, she came over and snatched it from my hands, throwing it into her closet with brute force.

Hell, she gave Emmett a run for his money. And that's saying something.

She turned back to me and smiled a little too sweetly. It was on the edge of being borderline creepy, if you ask me.

"Now, pay attention, missy. I only have a few more hours with you, and I'm nowhere near close to being finished."

"Fine."

After two more hours of torture, I was ready. Alice did a good job with as much as I could give her to work with. She curled my hair, turning it into complete perfection. She added a few clips to hold up my bangs away from my face, stating that I had a perfect shape of a face and that I should flaunt it. I scoffed at her remark before she could latch onto my chin and start drawing two thin lines of eyeliner around each eye. I begged and pleaded with her to stop, but she wouldn't have it. She even had to get Rosalie to come help her hold my hands away from her arms since I started to claw at them. After that she decided to just leave everything else besides my lips, dabbing a pastel pink gloss onto them.

My outfit, on the other hand, was not what I thought it would be. Alice agreed that I was definitely not ready to wear something remotely too revealing, so she picked out the denim skirt and a blue V-neck t-shirt. The weather turned a bit colder as the sun went down, and she let me borrow one of her thousands of leather jackets, completing the outfit with that, black leggings, and boots.

To be honest, it wasn't too bad. I looked decent enough to go to a party later on tonight, and casual enough to attend the football game without causing a stir. I smiled to myself in the mirror and nodded to Alice and Rose over my shoulder.

"Well, I'll be damned," Rosalie said with a laugh. "She _can _look put-together without causing a fit."

"Well, almost," Alice put in with a roll of her eyes. "The eyeliner was the worst part."

I shook my head at the two of them. I knew they meant well, but it was kind of odd to hear something that resembled a compliment from Rosalie. We weren't really that close. Today was the only time we've ever bonded over something. But I liked her. She had this edgy attitude that I happened to like. It proved that if you were one of her friends, she wouldn't let something happen to you. It was nice.

Alice and she both stated that they had to start getting ready. Of course it didn't take as long as it did for me, but it might have been a while for them. I watched as they each did their hair, pulling it up to a nice, sleek ponytail. Alice's hair couldn't fit all the way into it, so she let some of her spiky strands stay down. They both dressed in their cheerleading uniforms before wrapping their boys' jackets around their torsos.

"We're lookin' good, girls!" Alice laughed out.

"Let's beat down those Rez Wolves!" Rosalie whooped and shook her hips as she sort of skipped down the hallway towards the staircase.

I followed close behind them, our laughter mixing together to create a wonderful sound. We regrouped with Jasper and Emmett in the kitchen, who both looked pretty pumped for tonight. Emmett's entire form was shaking in anticipation, ready to kick some ass in football.

"All right, Rosie, time to head out," Emmett said after checking the clock on the wall. "Coach wants us to practice some more before kick-off."

They both grabbed their bags and headed towards the front door, only stopping to check if Alice and Jasper were heading out too.

"We're going to wait for a little bit," Alice replied.

"Okay. Don't be late, Alice. We have to stretch and be on the field by six," Rosalie yelled as she left.

Alice turned to me with worried eyes. I hitched up an eyebrow at her before turning my eyes to Jasper. He just shrugged and excused himself, claiming her needed a smoke. Alice scrunched up her nose at him but kissed him before he left. Once the door clamped shut behind him, she turned back to me with those worried eyes.

"Is he coming?" she asked softly with a little point at the ceiling, indicating that the 'he' was Edward.

My ears picked up on the soft music that was playing up above. It wasn't the piano like it was the other day, but hard rock music. It still had the same effect on me, questioning everything about the boy.

"I'm not sure," I replied with a shrug. "I haven't heard from him since he came home."

Alice's stance faltered a little, but she picked herself right back up. She wrapped one of her small arms around my waist with a smile, hugging me close to her small form. I was a little wary of what she was up to, but I didn't question it. If she wanted to act completely blissed out of her mind, then so be it.

"Not to worry, Bella," she said loudly, probably trying to get Mr. I'd-Rather-Stay-Home-And-Mope to hear her over the music he was blaring. "Jasper and I will just take you ourselves."

Not a moment later my phone beeped, signaling a message. I grabbed it before Alice could off the counter, knowing that if it was who I thought it was, she'd probably jump around the kitchen mumbling things to herself about Edward and I falling hard for each other and coming up with wedding ideas.

Yeah, that's already happened once today all because he smiled at me when we crossed paths in his own home. It was ridiculous how much that little girl could come up with in her head within a span of minutes.

I walked out of the kitchen and into the living room, giving myself some privacy away from Alice's smug smile. God only knows what scenarios she could be coming up with in that imaginative mind of hers.

With a sigh, I slid my finger over the smooth touch-screen and crossed my fingers. I didn't look at the message right away, not really ready to feel the disappointment if it was just my mom checking in on how I was coping. That would totally suck, and not to mention, ruin my night completely. I was really looking forward to digging deeper into the mystery that was Edward. It was like I was at the end of a good book, the ending leading you into something more, but stopping suddenly. I was grasping for more, frantically turning the blank pages, wondering where the rest of it was.

This boy had me hooked, lined, and sinker. I was in _that _deep.

Finally, my eyes got the best of me and flew to my phone. His name was at the top, check. There were actual words in the little green bubble, check. And they were directed towards me about tonight, check.

Wait, _what?_

Let's read that again.

_Tell Alice to calm down, and that she doesn't need to yell. I can hear her perfectly over my music. It's not that loud. I'll be down in a few minutes. I wouldn't want you to be all alone tonight trying to figure out what a touchdown is. That would be so cruel of me._

There was no acronym or anything related to him making a joke, but I knew the underlay was there. I could imagine the sound of his voice in my mind, the tone he would use if he had spoken them. I could see the smirk and the slight shake of his body as he laughed silently to himself.

Edward Cullen can tease. Who would've thought?

With a satisfied smile on my face, I marched back into the kitchen and threw my phone to Alice. She caught it without even batting an eye and scanned the screen for a mere minute before smiling widely. I sat down in one of the bar stools and waited for her to begin her excited squeals.

"This is absolutely perfect! That boy hasn't gotten out of the house in so long; it'll be good for him. I just know it!"

I smiled and nodded, not really sure on what to respond to that with.

Again, just another part of the mystery that was Edward. Another thing to add to my list of questions to ask him once I've cracked him opened enough.

"Alice, I've been out of the house plenty of times," the warm, velvet voice replied from the doorway. My sense heightened with the sound.

She scoffed. "Oh, please. You only go out when you can't handle being cooped up any longer, and even then you're isolated. You just drive around in your car until it's midnight and Esme's begging you to come home so she knows you're safe. I wouldn't call that 'getting out of the house', Edward."

I looked over my shoulder to see his reaction. I really didn't want him to go numb and shut me out like he usually does when someone gets under his skin. That would surely guarantee that he'd march right back up the stairs to his room without another word.

My heart sank with the thought, causing my eyes to fall to the floor after seeing him stand there, hard as stone.

"You're right," he said softly, surprising both Alice and I.

"What?" I asked before I could stop myself.

He caught my eyes with his green ones. They were burning brightly with a fire I haven't seen before. It frightened me and thrilled me all at the same time.

He was actually _looking _at me, not just through me. There was passion burning in his eyes.

"She's right," he repeated with a shrug. "I only go out for a drive. I guess you could say I'm not your typical seventeen-year-old."

Alice laughed a little. It didn't sound humorous, but guarded. She was waiting for the rampage to begin just like I was.

"No, Edward," she replied with a smile. "You're most definitely not the typical teenage boy. But when have you ever been normal?"

He smiled crookedly and ran a hand through his mess of bronze locks. "True."

The room erupted in soft laughs as we all took in collective breaths. It was odd seeing Edward shrug off a remark about himself. But it was a start. That had to be a good sign.

Jasper walked back into the kitchen, whistling as he did so. He wrapped an arm around Alice before kissing her forehead, causing her to giggle and make at a face at him. He just shrugged it off as she pushed him away. She really didn't like him smoking, I guess.

"Hey, man," he said as he nodded to Edward.

Edward nodded back in that weird man nod all the guys do these days before moving to stand behind the barstool I was sitting in. I could feel his every breath as he stood there, heating up the skin of my back through the leather and cotton fabric.

It was amazing how I reacted so quickly towards him.

"Should we head out, Ali?" Jasper asked as he threw her cheerleading bag over his shoulder before grasping her small hand with his big one.

"Yep." She turned to me. "You gonna be okay?"

"Alice," Edward warned from behind me.

"Of course," I replied, completely ignoring Edward. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Her blue eyes flickered up to Edward before flashing back to mine. She smiled softly and shook her head, telling me that it was nothing. After that, she followed Jasper out of the kitchen and towards the front door, but I saw her stop for a second to make sure everything was going to be all right.

Edward sighed from behind me before using his knee to spin the chair so I was facing him. He smiled smugly at me before leaning up against the wall behind him.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Hey."

He smiled more at me and I could feel the blush creep its way onto my cheeks. It was hard for me to keep my eyes on him as I watched him stare intently at me. The green in his eyes swirled as he took in my outfit for the night. His smile fell, but morphed into this crooked, knowing smile. The green turned a slight shade darker.

My skin ignited in hot fire as he stared.

"You look… _nice."_

I bit my lip. "Thank you."

He hummed in reply before rising up a hand and placing it right in the mess of bronze locks on top of his head. The other hand went to his pocket, pulling out his signature Ray Bans before placing them on his nose. He leaned off the wall and took a step closer towards me before bending down so he was face-to-face with me.

"Shall we?"

He held out a hand, suspending it in the air before my body. My eyes moved down to it, staring at it in wonderment.

He wanted me to touch him. I wanted to touch him.

As my hand made its way towards his, the electric heat sparked the air around us like it was known to do. My hand was on fire as it came into contact with his cold one. It was like fire and ice meeting for the first time, sizzling as it tried to work with one another.

He was my ice and I was his fire, two opposites that were attracted in a deathly way.

And we couldn't stop it if we knew how. We didn't want to, or at least _I _didn't.

Edward used his hand to pull me from my seat. The air around us heated up some more as we walked towards the door. My hand let go of his in a rush, but his went right to the small of my back. I knew he felt every single thing that I did in that single motion.

I longed for his hands to be on my body more, moving and gliding as he took inventory of it. I wanted my skin to be etched into his memory so he could picture his hands running across it whenever I wasn't with him. I wanted to feel his muscular arms, run my fingers through his unruly hair.

I wanted to _know_ every inch of him, inside and out.

_Slow down, _I told myself. _You have to take this one step at a time._

I looked over to him, scared that he had heard my thoughts of touching him. He smiled down at me as he pulled open the car door on the passenger side.

"What?" he asked once he caught my questioning stare.

I shook my head. "Nothing. You just… You're being different."

He placed his arm on the top of the door and rested his chin on it, cocking his head to the side like a dog hearing an unfamiliar word. It was cute.

"Is that a bad thing?" he asked sheepishly.

I longed to see his eyes, that way I knew if I was pushing boundaries here. Smacking the sunglasses off his face was tempting, very, very tempting.

"No," I replied quickly. "Of course not."

"Well, okay, then," he said through a sigh of relief.

I nodded and sat down in the car. Edward closed the door and walked over to his side, a hand permanently placed in his hair.

It was quiet on the drive to the school. Edward drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he turned it every so often. I fidgeted in my seat as I stared at him and through the windshield. I wanted to start a conversation with him, but I didn't know what would work best. With him, I always had to be careful, almost like I was walking on eggshells.

I hated it. So much.

Finally, he pulled into a parking spot at the school. People were rushing about, trying to catch up with friends or get a good seat before the big game. I didn't think there would be this many people here in Forks to witness a football game.

I mean, it's _football. _What's so great about a contact sport, and watching them all tackle each other for a stupid ball? I just don't see the point in it.

Apparently, the town of Forks did because when Edward and I walked into the field the entire population was sitting around, waiting for it all to begin. The small marching band was playing some horrible rendition of a rock song to pass the time as the two teams warmed up on the field.

"Come on," Edward said after gazing across the expanse of the field. "Let's go find Jasper. He's supposed to be saving seats."

He started to go right, and I had to keep a good pace to keep up with him. The boots weren't helping the matter, too. I was stumbling around on the soft ground while trying to push my way through huge crowds of people adorning the school colors. When a flash of a police uniform crossed my eyes, my entire body froze.

_Dear God, please don't let it be Charlie. Please._

The dark haired policeman turned around, showing an unfamiliar face. I breathed a sigh of relief before clasping a hand to my hot forehead. I could feel my lungs constricting as I panted for a breath. My heart hammered away in my chest as I thought of every scenario that could've happened if it was him.

He would march over and demand to know why I was here and wearing such _revealing _things before dragging me to his cruiser to take me home, the whole time claiming how I was never to see Alice again.

He would hold a gun to every single guy that looked at me in a suggestive way, threatening them to direct their eyes someplace else or get shot.

He would do anything to prove his dominance over me, showing every single person here how weak I truly was. I would be embarrassed and upset with him, yelling at him before he turned the gun towards me. He would yell back, saying how much of a damn disappointment I was.

My knees shook with every thought, the entire world around me spinning. I could literally feel the panic attack coming with full force.

But then a strong, cold hand grasped my elbow before I could fall, surfacing me from my spiraling thoughts. My eyes locked with wide, worried green ones and a pale, color drained face.

"Edward…"

"What the hell happened?" he hissed out quietly, trying to show the patrons that were staring that it was just me misplacing my footing. His eyes frantically moved around, glaring at them as they stared.

"N-nothing," I replied breathlessly. "I'm fine."

His frantic eyes locked back with mine as we stood up together. His hand immediately dropped my elbow before going into his hair.

"That's not what it looked like, Bella," he said with a knowing tone. "You were panicking."

I stopped brushing off some grass that was stuck to my knees, feeling the ice of his words cool down my hot flesh.

_How did he see that? How did he know?_

"I said I'm fine, Edward." My voice was hard as stone as I met his eyes in a glare. "Just drop it, okay?"

His eyes bored into me as he looked at me, but his head nodded slightly. He licked his lips as he let his head drop so he was looking at the ground before turning it towards the crowd. I took in a deep breath as he started to move again. I trailed behind him, wrapping my arms around myself as I felt a thousand pairs of eyes on me.

Jasper saw the whole thing. He gave me a worried look as Edward and I sat down next to him. Jasper placed his arm securely around my shoulders as Edward rubbed his now tired looking eyes. I fiddled with my hands in my lap as the teams were getting announced, completely forgetting the surroundings around me for a few minutes.

Why the hell did I freak out so much? It wasn't him, I was fine. He was out on patrol like he said he was going to be. And if he was here, I wasn't going to let him get to me. I proved to him that I could be on my own. He knew that if he did one wrong thing, I'd call my mother and demanded for full custody for the year I have left under parental consent. I was free of him and his threats, I knew that.

So, what happened? What made every single ounce of fear I felt to come rushing back due to a false alarm?

My eyes ghosted over to the boy sitting next to me.

Edward.

He didn't know anything about my relationship with my father, but I still worried about him finding out and assuming things were different than what they really were. My father's only hit me once, and that was years ago. But the fear still lived in my veins, reminding me of what he could do. And Edward knowing that I was too weak to even hold myself up would surely induce him to think that I wasn't a steady person to open up to about their own problems.

That was the last thing I wanted to happen. I wanted to be there for Edward, through thick and thin, no matter how deep in trouble he is. Alice said that he was happy, and I knew that he could be that again in a few months or so. He just needed that extra little push of faith that no one had given him before. And I'll be damned if that person isn't me.

I watched Edward as I thought all of this out, keeping a close eye on how he was holding himself now. His shoulders were slumped slightly with tight muscles wanting to burst through the fabric of his white t-shirt. His eyes followed the players on the field sluggishly, the color of them clouded over with something I couldn't put my finger on.

He was close to drowning, I could tell. But he was fighting it. And that's all that really mattered right then.

But then it was gone. Something caught his eyes, causing his brow to rise up in surprise. His hands gripped his jeans tightly, turning his knuckles white. I felt his body rise and fall rapidly as his breathing accelerated.

I turned to Jasper with questioning eyes, but he was frozen in his seat. His mouth was opened slightly in shock as his grey eyes honed in on something.

I turned back to Edward and saw the same expression now on his face, but his looked more upset and tired than Jasper's.

My eyes followed his line of sight, wondering where all this nervousness and shock came from. But then I saw who caused it. A beautiful strawberry blonde with dazzling curves and a tiger smile. Her eyes were locked on Edward's form as she crossed her arms across her chest before she held up a finger and beckoned him forward to her.

Edward breathed out a heavy breath, a naming rolling with it.

_"Tanya."_

And that's when all hell broke loose.

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**So... Yeah. (:**

What'd ya think? Was it good and suspensfull? Probably not. Oh well.

Tell me all your crazy thoughts about it. I wanna know all of them.

Lovelovelove!


	6. You've been gone for so long

**Edward's chapter once again. A look into the past.**

**Enjoy!**

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_You've been gone for so long._

**One year ago**

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever think of our future?"

I sat up and looked down at the beautiful girl lying beside me. Her strawberry blonde hair was fanned out across the grass, her hip bones and the flat skin of her stomach peeking out of her t-shirt she wore. Her caramel eyes warmed my heart and her breathtaking smile made me want to kiss her for the rest of my life. She was absolutely perfect in every single way.

_And she was all mine._

"All the time," I replied to her with a soft, crooked smile as I let my eyes take in everything about her. She was too beautiful to not look at.

She smiled shyly up at me, a soft pink painting her cheeks against the orange glow of her tanned skin. Her hand moved through the grass until her fingers touched with mine. I opened the palm of my hand, letting her hand lie flat against mine before entwining our fingers together.

"Me too," she said in a whisper.

I couldn't help but ask. I needed to know.

"What do you think about?"

She hummed to herself as she stretched her legs, her shirt rising up a little more. I instantly grew distracted, my eyes locked on her soft, tanned skin. A little star peeked out of the waistband of her jeans. I remembered the story about when she decided to rebel against her parents and got a group of friends together before taking a trip to Port Angeles to visit the tattoo shop. When she came back that night to visit me, I was shocked completely.

The Tanya I loved didn't rebel, and most definitely didn't decide to go get spur of the moment tattoos. I was a little uneasy about the whole thing, but as time grew on, it was one of the things that I loved about her.

"Everything," she replied with a shrug of her shoulders. "What it would be like to go to college together next year. How many kids we'll have, or when we'll get married. What life would be like growing old together. All that boring stuff."

She laughed softly to herself as she diverted her eyes, nerves shining through in her actions. I lay back down beside her and used a finger to brush some of her hair back behind her ear, causing her to look at me through her long lashes.

"Is that bad?" she asked in a hushed voice.

I shook my head, the blades of grass tickling the back of my neck. "No, it's not."

She smiled again at me before moving closer to my body. She placed her free hand over my heart, and I wrapped my arm around her waist. With her, nothing was ever enough. We could always get closer, love each other more, and hold each other tighter. We never got tired of being around each other, and the simplicity of our relationship was pure bliss.

It was hard not to blurt out a ridiculous proposal right then and there.

"What about you?"

Her voice brought me out of my thoughts of marrying her, meeting her wondering eyes.

"What about me?" I retorted.

She rolled her eyes and gave my chest a little shove with the hand that was over my heart. I chuckled and nuzzled deep into her neck, kissing her sweet tasting skin. Her fingers shot to my hair, grasping the strands tightly, pulling me closer.

"What do you see when you think about the future?"

"I see myself with a beautiful woman as my wife," I replied as I lifted my head up. I wanted to see her every emotion as I explained my feelings to her. I wanted her to know how I felt when it came to being together forever.

"What's she like?" Tanya asked with a smirk, playing along.

I shrugged as I moved to hover over her body, placing my forearms on the grass beside her. She was trapped underneath me, and there was no way I was letting her get away.

"She's beyond gorgeous," I began. "She has the most luscious blonde hair I've ever laid eyes on, and these melt-your-soul caramel eyes. Her laugh is infectious, spreading around a gloomy room and brightening everyone's day. She also is an excellent cook. I'll always be able to come home to a home-cooked meal and a beautiful wife that'll have my babies one day."

Tanya's smile grew as I continued to point out all the things I love about her. Her hands moved down from my hair to cup my cheeks, letting her thumbs trace small circles under each eye. I leaned in closer to her so our lips were touching barely.

"She also can make my heart speed up, kiss me like a little vixen that she is, and knows how to play football better than Emmett," I finished with a crooked grin.

Her hands went right back up to my hair, tightly holding onto the strands. "Oh, really? She sounds fun, Edward. I hope you two have a lovely life together."

"We will," I replied against her lips. "Because, Tanya, _you_ are the beautiful woman I see myself loving for the rest of my life. Someday, I'll propose to you, give you the house you deserve, and beg you to have my children. I promise."

Our lips crashed together before I could say anything more. Her small arms wrapped tightly around my neck, pushing me closer to her body. We melted together there that day in the meadow with our promises of a life together someday, both of us unaware of any unsuspected twists.

**x-x-x-x**

**Present day**

I shook my head to rid myself of the memory. Now wasn't the time to get caught up in the past, not when those melt-your-soul caramel eyes were locked with my green ones. It was too much to handle, and adding on the past was going to make me combust.

_I need to get out of here._

My ears picked up on Jasper and Bella calling my name as I raced down the bleachers. I accidently knocked a soda out of a woman's hand and sent a poor boy to fall over before I was safely off the death traps called bleachers. A lot of people shouted at me, warning me about getting my act together so they could fully watch the game and get the whole experience.

I honestly could care less. All I wanted was to be away from those eyes.

I rushed through the crowd, pushing and shoving my way until I could see the entrance a few feet away. My breathing was erotic, my heart was hammering away in my chest, and my face felt hot. I couldn't keep it together, and I was about to explode when a familiar hand grasped onto my shoulder.

"Edward," my mother said softly, concern clear in her own green eyes. "What's wrong? What happened?"

I ran a hand through my hair as I shifted my weight from foot to foot. My eyes glanced every which way, expecting _her _to pop out at any moment now. Esme latched onto my face with her hands, turning my attention back on her.

"Jesus, Edward. You're a mess. What the hell happened?"

My mother rarely spoke like that. She only acts like this when I act like how I am. She wanted to help me out so badly, but all I really wanted was to get as far away from the school as possible. I needed air and I needed to think, two things I couldn't get when I was so close to _her._

"I-I need to get out of here," I replied, breathy.

I grabbed her hands and pulled them from my face before turning around. I heard her call my name as I practically ran towards the entrance, knowing my freedom was about to come. Once I was safely away from the football field and close enough to my car, I stopped.

Taking in a deep breath, I sat down on the ground. I let my head fall onto my knees as I continued to breathe deeply, trying to regain some composure.

I was letting _her_ get to me, and I hated it. I thought seeing _her _again wouldn't be this hard, but I expected it to be brutal. But not like this. This was too much to handle, even for me.

A phone call would've been nice, warning me about her return. But did I get a phone call when she first left? No. So, why should I get one now?

I growled at myself and punched the side of my leg. I didn't care if it would bruise or not, letting out some of the pent up anger I had towards the girl was helping. I hit myself once more before hissing out in pain and shaking my fist. I accidently connected with my knee cap, and after hearing my knuckles crack under the pressure I had used, I knew it was enough. There wasn't a point to beating myself up over this.

My head lolled back and I looked up to the stars. The crowd cheered in the distance as the team scored a touchdown. The sound of heeled boots reverberated off the pavement, growing louder with each step. I looked towards the noise and saw a brunette beauty who kept to herself walking towards me with purpose clear on her face.

"Why did you take off like that?" she asked once she was standing over me. "You gave Jasper and I one hell of a scare."

"I needed air."

Bullshit response, but it'll have to do. Now wasn't the time to go take a trip down memory lane, especially with her.

She began to shake her head. "Don't do this, Edward. Don't shut me out."

"Already did," I replied with a frown.

It was what I did best, shutting people out. I felt like I should win an award for it. It was like a second nature to me.

"God dammit, Edward," she groaned as she sat down beside me. "You can talk to me. I'm your friend."

I glared at the girl beside me. She honestly thought that I could be friends when I felt like I had too many as it is? What kind of girl is she?

"I don't need your sympathy," I hissed out, my anger turning towards her. "I'm capable of handling myself, thank you very much."

Bella sighed and ran a hand through her hair, trying to reign in her own anger towards me. Another sound of footsteps coming towards us sounded, causing Bella to look over her shoulder. Jasper stepped out of the shadows and plopped down beside her.

"Welcome to the party," I mumbled with a roll of my eyes. For someone that knew I liked my space, he was doing a horrible job of accepting that fact.

"Edward," he said softly with a calm voice. "It'll be okay."

"The hell it won't!" I barked out. "You don't know half the things she's done to me, Jasper. So don't tell me that it will be okay, because it won't. I'm fucking_ broken_ all because of her, and I can't find a way to fix it."

Bella and Jasper looked at me with sad eyes as I gasped for breath. I didn't mean to let it all slip it, but it did, and I couldn't take it back. It felt so good to finally get this off my chest. So good in fact that I wanted to run back into the football field, grab the microphone, and tell the entire audience the wrong doings _she _did to me.

But I couldn't move. I was too tired to even lift my head up after I let it fall back down onto my knees.

"Edward," I heard Bella whisper. "I'm so sorry."

My blood began to boil again, and my head shot up like a rocket.

"For what?" I demanded. "For not saving my ass from falling in love with a bitch? For not being there to take the pain away? For fucking what, Bella?"

I saw her bottom lip tremble as she sat there, shell-shocked. Jasper was placing a hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged him off. She blinked her eyes rapidly, probably trying to rid her eyes of the tears that wanted to spill over, before glaring at me.

"For trying to be a friend, Edward," she hissed out at me. "I see you have enough friends as it is, so I'll leave you alone."

I watched as she stood up and turned her back on me, averting all of her attention to Jasper.

"I'd like to go home, now," she said to him softly.

He nodded his head in reply and stood up, wrapping a comforting arm around her small form. As they walked away, he glanced over his shoulder to look at me one more time, his blue eyes swirling with anger. I pissed him off, and I pissed him off good, but I couldn't find it in me to care. All I wanted was to forget that this ever happened and go home so I could drown in my own self-inflicted misery.

As I stood up, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and looked at the message I had received.

_You're a fucking prick, Edward. She was just trying to be nice. Thanks for ruining the rest of my night, cousin. I hope you're happy._

I exited out of the message from Alice before getting into my car. I knew that I had pissed off the world, but I didn't care. I was pissed at myself and I was pissed at _her _for turning me into this angry, broken man that I am.

But most of all, I was pissed at the fact that I had lost the one person that I really wanted to be in my life, knowing that she was the only one to successfully brighten my dark days.

Bella.

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**We're getting to the good parts now. A lot of things are starting to pan out. Hope you're all ready for this ride. (:**

Send me some reviews. They're slow for this story, but honestly don't care. I love reading the ones I get.

Lovelovelove!


	7. You want to hear about the deal

**The weather keeps changing from warm to cold. God, do I love it. Spring is on its way!**

**Placebo's song as the title. I'm addicted to it. Youtube it. "Running Up That Hill."**

Enjoy!

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_You want to hear about the deal I'm making._

Sleep wasn't my friend. We argued back and forth throughout the night.

I wanted to just sleep a dreamless sleep, but my mind was just filled up with noise. I replayed the entire conversation with Edward and Jasper in my head, questioning every single thing he had said. What happened between him and this girl? Is this why he's so closed off? Will he be okay now that she's randomly shown up again?

I tossed and turned with every new question that flew through my mind. I ached to go to him, but the anger that I felt towards him was still burning through my muscles.

Alice managed to calm me down a bit after Jasper dropped me off and she had time to call me. But I was still upset. I wanted to be a friend for Edward, but he was making it nearly impossible to be. He kept pushing me away after pulling me so close to the edge. It was infuriating.

At nine, I decided to drag myself out of bed after staring at my ceiling and picturing burning, sad green eyes. The sounds of pots and pans clanking against one another sounded from the kitchen as Charlie fixed him something to eat. I tip-toed to the bathroom, not wanting for him to know I was awake and start an awkward conversation with him. I was too tired.

Once in the bathroom, I avoided the mirror. I already knew I looked like complete hell, no need to actually see the actual product of my face. I quickly flipped the showerhead to the right before undressing and hopping into it. The hot water caused a shiver to pass over my body as my skin turned red. I let me head fall back into the spray, the water drowning out the noise. I stood there and lathered my body in soap until the water ran cold. I dressed in jeans and a t-shirt before piling my hair on top of my head and tied it in place, watching myself in the mirror.

I didn't like what I saw and I frowned at it.

"God," I groaned, "I let this guy get to me, knowing he'd be stubborn as hell, and I still can't get things in check. What the hell is wrong with me?"

Shaking my head in disbelief, I pulled the door open and walked towards my room. I threw my clothes on my bed before grabbing my phone. Alice demanded that I call her first thing in the morning after we talked last night. If I wanted to keep my composure, I knew that I should follow through, so I unlocked the screen and halted when an alert popped up.

**Missed Calls: 3x Edward Cullen**

_What the hell?_

I dialed his number, dragging all the anger I felt towards him to the surface. If he wanted a confrontation, then he'll get one. I only hope he knows what he's getting in to.

"Bella," his voice answered after the second ring.

"You called?"

He sighed, agitation clearing away with the breath. I instantly felt bad for him, knowing that this was something that was eating him alive.

But then I remembered every hiss he threw my way last night and the sympathy for him left the building.

"Yeah, I wanted to apologize," he said softly. "For last night, I mean."

I sighed. I guess it would be good to hear him out. He was trying to be a good person and not shut me out, so why should I be upset with that? Alice warned that it was going to be difficult with him, but I told her I wanted to do this, so I'll be damned if I didn't let him try.

"It's okay, Edward. You were upset, no need to apologize," I replied with a huff of air. I flopped down on my bed and sprawled out, my limbs hanging off the edges of it. "I forgive you."

"Thank you," he said softly, a smile hinting in his voice.

I smiled to myself. I loved hearing a true, pure smile in his voice. It gave me hope.

Before I could say anything, Edward's voice changed completely. He was guarded and worried again as he asked, "Can we talk? Like, go someplace so we're not interrupted and actually _talk?"_

My spine tingled as worry flew through my body. What in the world could he possibly have to say to me that he couldn't say over the phone? Edward wasn't the best person at talking, and why would he want to dive head first into that obstacle now? Sure, it was one of the things on my list of mysteries for him that I wanted to find out, but I had other things I put first before that one. I wanted to know who the girl was besides her name, why he's this shell of a person, and how he became this way. Then, after finding those things out, I would tackle the climb of getting him back to being his old, happy self.

Apparently, he had other plans.

"Where would you like to meet at?" I asked.

He let out a rush of air, probably the breath he had been holding as I thought in silence. A rustling noise sounded on his end of the line, and I smirked to myself. Hand through the hair motion. It was so Edward.

"Why don't you drive over here first? I still have to shower, and by the time you're here I'll be ready to go."

My mind went blank at the mentioning of him in the shower. He cleared his throat three times – rather obnoxiously, to be in fact – before I could answer his question. I felt a blush warm up my cheeks as I spoke.

"Sure," I replied. "I'll head out now."

"Sounds good. I'll see you soon."

We hung up on each other before we could say pleasantries. I sat up and rubbed my face with the palm of my hands, trying to rid myself of the looks of sleep deprivation. The last thing I wanted was for him to see how affected I was over last night. It was a little tiff, and I accepted his apology. Why should I look like I hadn't slept when clearly he was the one more worried about it than I was?

_Because you care, dipshit. Stop being ignorant._

I rolled my eyes at my thoughts as I stood. On instinct, I looked out the window to see if Charlie's cruiser was in the drive. A wave of relief fell over me as I saw that my truck was alone and I could make it out of the house without a confrontation.

Charlie decided two days ago that he wanted to step in and try to actually start a conversation with me about school at dinner. Let's just say that it ended with me storming up to room because he thought my grades were slipping from what they were in Phoenix. I called him on his bullshit, causing an argument to happen. And thus, the storming to my room.

We've been dodging each other ever since, hence the checking to see if he was here or not. I was walking on pins and needles around him, and I knew that whenever he got the chance, he would bring it up to clear his slate. I knew that I should let him at least try and apologize, but I couldn't find the strength to do that. He would only be apologizing for the lies, not the slap.

I wanted that apology. And until I got that, we'd be on bad speaking terms. End of discussion.

After grabbing my keys, I headed down the stairs and into the brisk autumn air of Forks. I wrapped the jacket I grabbed before heading out the door around my torso, and hopped into my truck. The beast roared to life before backfiring as I accelerated. I kept it under fifty as I drove towards the Cullen mansion in the trees.

My heart raced as the house came into view. Rosalie's and Jasper's cars were parked out front, indicating that they both stayed over. I guess Edward's parents were a bit more laid back than my dad was because that would not fly at my house. I parked behind Jasper's old Mustang before turning off my truck. The front door opened as I started towards it, Edward walking onto the front porch as he towel-dried his wet hair.

"Hey," he called as I walked through the leaves. "Come on inside."

I smiled up at him as he held the door open, keeping my eyes away from his beautiful hair. If it was any contradiction to how it was dry, I knew I would lose my focus and end up grabbing at the strands. I was so envious of the hand that went through it as he pushed it away from his eyes. I wanted it to be my hand that was touching his hair, not his own.

_Okay, wow. Just stop. You're not supposed to be thinking like that._

Changing my thoughts around, I looked away from his hair. The house was silent as he brushed past me towards the staircase. He indicated that he'd only be a minute so I sat down on the loveseat. He climbed the stairs two at a time before I was alone in the silent room.

My eyes roamed the walls, taking in all of the beautiful pictures that lined it. Most of them were of Edward when he was younger. Those caught my attention the most, so I stood and moved towards one with him about the age of five. He wore a toothy grin as he held up his toy, happiness radiating through his entire still form. I couldn't help but smile to myself as I let my finger trace his smile in the picture.

Smiling Edward was beautiful. You could easily see how happy he was in it, and I wanted him to smile like that now. I knew it would take a lot of work, but that it would also be worth it. He'll be able to smile freely without being guarded, and that was an award all in itself.

A throat cleared from behind my back, and I jumped. I could feel the heat radiating off of his body as he stepped closer to my back, almost touching. His arm moved around my face, grabbing my hand with the finger that was tracing the smile in the picture. He pulled it away from it before placing it back at my side. I winced when I heard him take in a huge gulp of air, closing my eyes tightly. This was going to be bad, I could tell.

"Bella," his voice whispered softly in my ear. "Open your eyes."

On their own free will, they complied. He spun me around slowly so I was staring into his curious green eyes. A smirk was on his face and a chuckle emanated from his chest.

"Found something worth admiring?" he asked, the attitude flowing out of him with ease.

"I-I just…" I stammered, not sure what to say exactly after being caught. I decided to just be honest. "Uh, yeah. I guess."

He nodded before crossing his arms across his chest. "Do tell."

I blushed and tugged on the hair that had fallen from my bun. "Uh… You're smiling in this picture. I like it."

His face turned serious. "I smile all the time, Bella."

"Yeah, but…" I trailed off, afraid that if I said it, it would set him off. God knows that was the last thing I wanted to happen.

His arms fell away from his chest and back to their rightful sides. I noticed that his face had drained of the redness left from his shower, now looking pale, ghostly white. His eyes flickered from mine to the picture of him behind me, his brow furrowing deeper as time wore on.

_Please don't take this the wrong way. It slipped._

Edward was still silent as his eyes moved to the two spots; my face and the picture. He breathed deep and heavily, almost as if he was calming down his insides. I chewed on my bottom lip as I watched him, thinking that if I left now, everything can just explode then. I really wasn't ready for another hiss and curse from him, the memory of last night was too fresh in my mind.

"Edward, I should go," I whispered softly, lifting up a booted foot as I started to take a step. He grabbed my arm, stopping the motion, his eyes ablaze as they bored into mine.

"No," he whispered out. "Not yet. Not until you know. Not until you understand, Bella."

His words confused the hell out of me, but I didn't care. They meant that he would explain until I got it. He wanted to try to let me in, and if I ran now I won't ever forgive myself.

This is what I wanted all along.

"Okay. Tell me everything."

"Not here," he said, dropping my arm. "Let's go the diner and talk. I'm starving."

I nodded and followed behind him, a low giddiness settling inside of me. I was glad that he wanted to tell me, and in just a few short minutes I'd be able to get to know him for whom he really was and not just for the shell. I was actually getting to see Edward in his rarest form.

His self.

**x-x-x-x**

The diner was nosy and crowded, and after a five minute wait, Edward and I were finally seated in a booth in the back. Our waitress took our orders before leaving us all alone. I latched onto the napkin underneath my silverware before crinkling it up in my fist, my nerves being released with the action. Edward fiddled with his knife, spinning it on its tip on the table, leaving a mark. We were both antsy; him in worry, me in anticipation.

"So," he said finally, bringing his eyes up to mine and off the knife. "Where to begin?"

"The beginning, please. That's always a good place to start," I replied with a small smile, encouraging him. I wanted him to relax around me.

He nodded and ran his hand through his hair. His eyes moved around the diner, taking in all of the patrons before zoning back down on the knife. On instinct, I lifted up a hand and placed it on top of his. A spark flew between our skin as it touched, causing us both to look up in shock.

It was exciting and scary all at the same time. Never before had I touched someone and got a spark. What did it mean?

Edward pulled his hand away from mine, moving it so it was off the table. I drew mine back towards me, knowing that whatever just happened had scared him shitless. His green eyes were wide with fear and wonder, mine probably matching his.

He cleared his throat before clutching the knife tightly. "The beginning… Right?"

"I would like that, yeah," I replied.

"I guess that's okay," he said, almost asking himself. "But, Bella, there's some things that I can't talk about yet. It's too hard."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why?"

He glared. "If I said why, that would be telling you. Please, I just… It's too hard."

"You said that already."

"Bella."

"Okay, okay," I said with a shrug. "Whatever, just… I want to know, okay?"

He sighed before leaning back in to the booth. It squished to morph around his body, sinking him further into the material. Our waitress brought our drinks then, pausing our conversation. She dropped two straws onto the table and gave us each our rightful glass, walking away with a sway. It was probably because of Edward. I noticed that she had been eyeing him ever since we walked into the door.

_Sorry, honey. He's not interested. In anyone, not even me._

I internally groaned at myself – so not the route of thoughts that I needed to be on.

Edward sat up again, grabbing a straw before unwrapping it. He stuck it into his tea before taking a sip, nearly draining the thing before dropping it back down onto the table. I was surprised it didn't go spilling everywhere.

"So?" I pegged. "Shall we?"

He nodded. "The beginning was… okay. Tanya and I met our freshman year."

"So you were a thing?" I asked, interrupting him.

He chuckled and glared playfully. "Bella, I can't tell the whole story if you interrupt me like that. I'm sure all of your questions will be answered as I tell it, and if they're not, you're free to ask me after."

"Fine, go on."

"Everything was perfect then. We flirted like love-struck teenagers, building up to a nice, calm relationship," he continued with a soft smile. "My parents were happy that I had met someone like her. She was always on her best behavior, being nice to everyone even if they weren't to her, and she loved unconditionally. I was falling fast, and so was she, but neither of us were warned of the outcomes of that."

He paused to take another sip, finishing off his drink. I tried to bite my tongue, but my mouth got the better of me.

"What do you mean? If you both fell so hard and fast, it should have been perfect, right?"

Edward sighed, gazing out the window, losing himself in the memories. I watched him closely, focused on him and only him.

"I should have been, and it was," he said softly with a frown. "But it wasn't. As time wore on, we started to drift apart. I was focused on baseball, and she was focused on social cliques. We were two different people with two different personalities and passions. Things went downhill fast.

"She started not caring about me, choosing to hang out with the other guys she was friends with than me. It worried me a little, thinking that she was fooling around with one of them, or all of them. I didn't know, and my mind got the best of me. One night I told her my thoughts and she blew up on me, claiming that I was visioning her as a whore when I really wasn't. I was just scared that she didn't love me like I loved her." He took in a deep breath, turning back to face me. "And that's exactly what happened."

"Oh, Edward," I whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," he replied with a shrug. "Things happen like that all the time. My grandparents fell out of love, and Rose fell out of love all the time before she met Emmett. It's not a big deal."

I shook my head. "But you never did. That must have been awful."

He glared at the knife again, squeezing it tightly in his hands until his knuckles were white. I wanted nothing more than to move to where he was sitting and wrap him up in to my arms. He looked so defeated – so broken. It was crushing to even see him like that.

"I didn't fall out of love until recently, Bella. She's been gone for a long time," he said so quietly that I thought I had imagined him saying it.

This was where my heart began to race. Edward looked so violent and angry that I was terrified of him. Whatever happened between them that led to her leaving must of had been brutal and fresh in his mind because if it wasn't, he wouldn't have acted like this.

Edward slammed the knife down onto the top of the table, causing the patrons sitting beside us to look up from their plates. Our waitress took that moment to bring our food to us, completely oblivious to the sparked air floating around us. I wasn't even hungry anymore, seeing him like this was starting to make me sick.

"She left, Bella," he hissed out. "Can you believe that? Just got up and left one day without a fucking warning, leaving me to fend for myself, completely heartbroken."

"Edward, I'm sure there was a reason behind it," I replied. I didn't mean it, I was just trying to say something to calm him down.

That didn't work.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you _defending _her, Bella?" He shook his head and began to chuckle like a mad man. "You – of all people – should be the last person defending Tanya. It's astounding to hear those words fall from your lips."

"Edward, I was just trying to see her side of it," I replied. "Maybe she was just as heartbroken as you were."

This time he laughed loudly, hunching over as he clutched tightly to his stomach. I looked wide-eyed around the room, searching for the Edward that I was talking to not two minutes before this one. He was confusing the hell out of me, almost giving me whiplash. He changed his moods so fast that it was hard to keep up.

"I doubt it," he said after he got a hold of himself. "I knew something like that would happen. It was a long time coming. She was a whore, Bella, that's the funny thing. Every night she'd sneak out to see this Garrett guy and God knows how many others, while I stayed at home, worrying like a mother fucker because of her.

"Finally, I caught her in the act, ending it right then and there after yelling in her face, calling her a million names that all meant the same thing. She cried, but I didn't care. Garrett punched me in the face, breaking my nose, and I still didn't care." He laughed darkly again, pushing his hair out of his eyes with a hand. "I was too numb to give a fuck."

"He _punched _you?" I gasped out.

He shrugged with a smirk. "I got him back, don't worry. He was more black and blue than I was. Got me a night behind bars, but I still didn't give a fuck. I was only seeing red and her with all these other guys, wanting to beat them up too."

My mouth fell open at the mentioning of Edward spending a night in jail, probably with my father there. He never seemed like the type to do something so stupid and irrational like that. But heartbreak brings the worst out of everyone, turning them ugly for a moment.

"And then she left?" I asked, hoping that this would be the end of his violent streak. It was getting harder to hear about.

"And then she left. Not note, no text, no phone call, nothing."

I nodded, picking at the slice of toast I had ordered. I looked down at our plates, frowning. We both hadn't even tried to touch them, and by now they were probably cold. I picked up the slice of toast and forced myself to eat it, not wanting my money or his to go to waste.

I pointed to his plate. "Eat. You said you were starving."

He complied, picking up his fork before stabbing it into his yellow eggs. I waited to speak, watching him take a few more bites, before saying, "What did you do?"

Edward wiped his mouth with a napkin and answered. "I holed myself up in my room, practically closing myself off from everyone. I wasn't the same after she left. As you can see."

Our eyes met for an instant, both of us knowing that he was speaking of his personality as it was now. Again, he looked defeated, but it was different. He looked refreshed sort of, almost like retelling this story was making it easier on him. His color came back into his face as he took a few more bites, letting me know that the worst was over.

"And seeing her again? How did that make you feel?" I asked softly, remembering how he looked so lost last night.

"Different." He took in a deep breath. "Scary. I felt everything again, Bella. And I finally let myself hate her."

"Do you hate her, Edward?"

He dropped his fork, pushing his plate away. With his hands, he rubbed his face, turning the skin a soft pink. He pushed them up until they were in his hair, letting his eyes look in to mine, causing his answer to sink in deeply.

"I do."

"How much?"

"So much that it's ridiculous," he said with a laugh. "I can't feel anything but hate when I think about her."

My heart sped up as he continued to look at me, causing my cheeks to warm. I knew that his story was over and that I was free to continue to ask him questions, but I didn't have any. Everything was so much clearer now that he had told me it. I knew why he was so unhappy, and I also knew that with time, I could fix him.

I could make him happy again.

A smile slid onto my face with the thought. Smiling Edward popped back into my mind, causing the smile to grow. Happy was his best emotion to display.

"You're smiling," he said with a grin. "Do you hate her already?"

I shook my head. "No, but I know why you do. Things between you and her were left unattended and harsh. It's only natural to feel this way."

He nodded and threw a twenty dollar bill onto the table, standing up as he put his wallet back into his pocket. I followed closely behind him, glad that things were starting to look up.

Once we were outside, Edward spun around with a smile. The sun was shining behind him, making a light glow behind his figure. He looked like an angel.

"Now you're smiling," I teased. "Have you gone mad?"

He laughed, slinging an arm over my shoulders. He pulled his Ray Bans out of his pocket and placed them on the bridge of his nose as we walked towards his car. He pulled me close to his side, leaning down. I felt his lips by my ear, his breath warm and tingling.

"No. And you'll never know why," he said, almost teasing.

My heart flew.

* * *

**What do you think about that? Tanya's not a nice lady.**

I love to hear what you have to say about this chapter. This story is so much fun to write. It's like I can get deeper into things with this one. Gahhh, I just love it. (:

Lovelovelove!


	8. The sky above us shoots to kill

**I couldn't think of a song to go with this, so the lyrics at the beginning probably are irrevelant to the chapter. Just saying. They are from "Thistle & Weeds" by Mumford & Sons, soooo you should totally go youtube them. I was sceptical but they're my need addiction.**

**Prom's in two weeks! Me exciiiiited. :)**

**Edward's coming out to play more as we progress, so don't worry!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_The sky above us shoots to kill_

Everything just seemed clearer after Edward and I had talked. Even if I didn't get the full story, it made me feel at ease. And seeing that smile on his face – an actual real smile – was just the icing on the cake. It warmed my heart every time he would look at me with it. He laughed too. It was the most beautiful sound I've ever head. It was like bells without any music, but it made its own. I never knew a laugh could be musical – until now.

The sun was out too, making my good mood even better. It gave the green of the town warmth, shining down on the world brightly. The colors blended together as Edward drove way too fast. I rolled down my window, letting the last of the warm summer air breathe into the car. My hair swirled around my face, and Edward turned up the music so it was blasting. We sang along, not caring that we were out of tune, all the way until we pulled into his driveway.

Everyone was outside. Jasper and Emmett were throwing a baseball back and forth with the girls watching. Esme was perched in her beautiful garden, pulling the weeds and watering the plants. A man I hadn't ever seen before was sitting on the porch swing with the newspaper in his hands. He pushed up the glasses perched on his nose as he read, the wind blowing his blonde locks around.

"My dad," Edward clarified, "Dr. Carlisle Cullen."

I nodded and followed after him as he walked towards our friends. Alice gestured me over to her, and I was reluctant to leave Edward's side. He chuckled before pushing me forward, towards her. Emmett smile widely at me as I passed, but then warned me to duck. I followed his command and heard the sound of a ball connect with leather. My eyes were wide as I looked up to the big man.

"Jesus, Bella. You about got your head taken off," he said with worry clear in his eyes. "Never walk in the line of a baseball, got it?"

Jasper and Edward were laughing as I stood up and nodded. Emmett shook his head at the two before wrapping an arm around my small shoulders.

"Ignore 'em. They're just glad it wasn't them."

He walked me all the way over to the girls before heading back to the game. I hadn't noticed that Edward went into the garage and got his glove, but I watched him closely as her threw the ball to Jasper. Emmett grabbed a bat from the trunk of his jeep before lining himself up against the make-shift home base. Edward got in a pitcher's stance before glancing over his shoulder to catch Jasper's eyes. Jasper nodded and Edward turned back to Emmett, throwing the ball with such precision and preciseness that it was scary. It zoomed past Emmett's head, too fast to even attempt to swing at. Carlisle stood up from his seat and caught the ball before it could connect with his face.

I was in shock. I had never seen something like that before – not even when I watch games with Charlie. It was brilliant.

"Maybe you should play with a catcher?" Carlisle suggested with a smile.

"I was hoping you'd volunteer, I just needed to get your attention," Edward called back, a ghost of his father's smile on his face. "Looks like I did, so grab your gear."

Carlisle smirked at his son and nodded, hopping down the two stairs that lead to the boys. He stopped briefly to nod at Rose, Alice, and I. His eyes rested longer on me, the blue swirling with questions. I shrunk into myself as his gaze lingered, sighing in relief once it was gone.

Alice nudged my shoulder with her arm. I turned to her and saw her questioning eyes.

"What?"

"Oh, come on," she whines. "You were out all morning with my cousin, and you think you can just let it slide? Tell me everything, Bella. And don't skip out on any juicy details!"

Rosalie snorted from her spot before leaning forward to meet my eyes.

"Ignore her," she said. "There probably isn't even a single ounce of juicy details to go around, am I right?"

"There isn't, so calm down, Alice," I told her with a frown. If I wanted there to be juicy gossip in this conversation I was sure I had enough played up in her head. There really wasn't a need to add fuel to the fire.

"So, what happened?" Alice persisted after she sulked for a little bit. "Why did he demand to take you out this morning?"

I shrugged and turned my eyes back to the boy that had given me so much hope. His smile was still pure and true, and his eyes were lit up so brightly that they shined. His laugh was infectious, and it tingled all the way up my body, causing bumps to rise on my skin. His green eyes found mine and he smiled even bigger, winking.

"Whoa," Rosalie breathed. "What is that all about?"

I smiled to myself. "He's just in a better mood now, I guess."

Alice grabbed my chin with her small hand and turned my face towards her. "And that would be because…?"

"We cleared the air, sort of." I shrugged again before pulling my face from her claws. "He told me a brief recap of his story, and now I know why he freaked on me yesterday. He apologized and said he'd be a good boy from now on. That's it."

"That's it?" she asked with hope clear in her voice. She_ really_ wanted Edward and me to be together.

"That's it," Rosalie answered for me.

Alice turned her glare on her and Rose held up her hands. She turned back to me quickly with a pout. I shook my head and mumbled an apology just because she looked really sad and like all her hope was shot down in that moment.

But then her face lit up again as the boys walked over to us. Jasper sat down in between Alice's legs and Emmett leaned against the edging of the fence. Edward stood in front of me, scrubbing his shoe in the dirt. I smiled softly up at him and noticed his crooked grin. His good mood was really starting to affect me, and not in a bad way.

He looked so beautiful with a smile on his face. He should smile every day, just not when things are going his way. This boy deserves to smile.

"So, what is the crew up for tonight?" Emmett asked after a sigh. "There's tons of fight nights tonight."

"Fight nights?" I asked, looking from face to face. Surely he didn't mean actual fighting…

Emmett smiled widely. "Oh, yeah, Bellarina. Fight nights."

"Jesus, we're actually going to those again?" Rose asked with a frown. "I thought you were done."

"I never said that!" Emmett glared. "When did you hear me say that?"

"When you beat the living shit out of Black," Edward answered with a smirk. "That was one hell of a fight, man. I'm amazed you both weren't sent to the hospital. Dad would've flipped."

Emmett was silent as everyone watched him as he thought back to the night. He finally smiled a shit-eating grin before saying, "Oh, yeah. I remember that now."

"So, no go on the fight night," Rosalie demanded. "Why don't we just stay here and watch movies?"

"Because we did that last night," Alice answered with an eye roll. "Because _someone _ruined our plans."

Edward's eyes grew wide as the smile he'd been wearing up until now vanished. I turned my eyes onto Alice and glared. How dare she ruin his good mood and mine by bringing up last night. I told her that we cleared the air. There are no more hard feelings.

"Alice, babe, let it go," Jasper said softly to her with a nudge. "It's okay."

"Can someone please fill me in?" I pressed, butting my way into the conversation. I was curious and pissed, and if Edward was going anywhere near a fight I think I might have to intervene. His face is too pretty.

_Seriously, pretty? Did I really just call his face pretty?_

I bit down hard on my lip because I was starting to let my mind wander too far off the beaten path. I shouldn't think things like that about him. He isn't mine to have, and he never will be. I told Alice I was okay with that and I promised there wouldn't be any of my feelings for him involved. I'd be screwing everything up for the two of us if I did that, so really, these thoughts need to stop.

Alice sighed, bringing me back into the conversation. "The boys like to go to parties where there is usually fighting involved. These said parties have now become Fight Night because it's just the whole party watching two guys who have it out for each other beating the crap out of each other."

"And you want to go why?" I asked Emmett. My disbelief was written clearly on my face.

He shrugged and smiled again. "It's fun as hell, Bella. Relax, I know what I'm doing."

Rosalie scoffed before standing and rushing off into the house. Emmett's smile faded as he watched her go, knowing full well just how pissed off she was. I could tell that she didn't like the idea of Emmett fighting, and I had to agree with her. He had no business fighting at all.

Emmett rushed after her, calling her name the entire time until the door cut off his voice.

The rest of us continued to sit there. Edward moved closer to me before taking a seat in front of me, resting his back against my legs. I felt and heard him sigh as he relaxed against me. My hand went to his hair, my fingers playing with the silky strands of his bronze hair. Alice nudged me with her elbow but I just shrugged. This wasn't stepping over to boundary; this was just a friendly gesture.

Edward's head fell back, letting me see the sight of him completely relaxed. His eyes were closed and the sun was giving his skin a soft orange glow. His breathing was even against where he was pressed against my legs. He looked content and happy just for a moment, but the sound of the door opening behind us ended it. He sat straight up and pushed his hand through his hair, knocking mine away. I had to bite my lip from frowning.

Emmett plopped down by Alice with a sigh. "So, Rose is pissed."

"No, she's just too happy to show it, Em," Alice replied sarcastically. She pushed his shoulder with her hand, knocking his other into to me.

"She said she'll go, though," he finished with a smile. "So, let's pack it up and get ready?"

"Oh, dear lord," I mumbled into my hand after I let my head fall into it. "Seriously?"

Emmett chuckled and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "Come on, Bellarina! It'll be a blast."

I sighed. I had nothing better to do, and I did want to keep an eye on Edward. He was back to being collected and quiet, signaling that something was eating away at him. With an eye roll, I nodded, agreeing to the stupidest thing I've ever heard to date.

"Fucking right!" Emmett yelled before rushing down the stairs to collect the baseball gear.

"Emmett, language!" Esme called from her garden, causing us all to laugh.

"Sorry, Mom."

**x-x-x-x**

By the time we arrived the party was at full swing. People were packed into Newton's family's cabin and bass-pumping music could be heard a mile away. It was a good thing this place was placed so conveniently in the back of the woods. Cops were sure to show up passed midnight, give or take.

Edward followed closely behind me as I followed our group into the party. His fingers touched my wrist often if he thought he lost sight of me. It was hard to stay together as we tried to squeeze our way through the sweat covered bodies that were dancing close together. Finally, I just grabbed his whole hand, squeezing my fingers through his to pull him safely behind me without losing him. Once we were out of the bodies I let his hand go with a soft smile up at him. I tried to not notice the way he was looking at me funny. I just didn't have it in me to deal with it.

Alice rushed over to where we were standing with drinks in hand. Edward declined his, stating something about being the designated driver. I took mine but didn't drink it. As she walked away I placed it on the table beside me, hoping that someone would take it before she noticed. I heard Edward chuckle beside me as he watched the action.

"Light weight or just never tasted it before?" he asked with a smirk. Cocky, keep-to-himself Edward was back. All smiles from earlier wiped clean from his memory.

"I don't drink, and I'm the chief's daughter, remember?" I replied with a grin as I tried to play up my joke. He didn't get it.

"Right, don't want to play up a bad impression."

I rolled my eyes at him before taking in the sight of the party. Mike and Jessica were standing close together in a dark corner dancing while making out. He had his hands on her ass, probably thinking that it was working for him. I repressed the urge to gag.

My eyes moved to the dance floor, taking in Alice and Jasper as they turned dancing into an art. He was twirling her around in the tight space, causing her to laugh as she looked at him with love. He held onto her tightly once she was close to him again, never letting her go for an instant. It made me smile to see those two so in love at a young age.

And then my eyes took in the sight of what I suppose was where the fights happen. Emmett was talking to some guy that had a wad of money in his hand. He took some from Emmett before patting his shoulder. Rosalie glared the entire time as she watched the exchange. My guess was that Emmett had just signed himself up for his first fight of the night.

Edward grabbed my wrist, causing me to jump. I turned my face towards him to glare but it vanished as I took in the sight of him and the pain that was shooting up my arm. His eyes were wide as they locked on something across the room, his fingers tightening around my wrist in the process. I began to use my hand to claw his away, but he just held on tighter.

"Edward, you're hurting me," I said to him as I continued to shove at his hand. "Seriously! It fucking hurts, Edward!"

He must have heard me because he turned his head towards mine, a look of pure hatred crossing his features for a moment. I shrunk into myself as it passed, afraid that it was directed towards me. But then his face softened and he looked down at where his hand was, finally seeing the red marks of his fingers on my skin.

"Sorry," he mumbled as he let go. "I just… There was something… Yeah…"

"What?" I asked with worry. He looked really shaken up. "What is it?"

He sighed as he let his eyes go back to staring. I followed with my own eyes with a glare. He already was in a pissed off mood, the last thing he needed was to be upset.

And who I saw made me see red.

Tanya.

She was sauntering her way over to where Edward and I were standing, her eyes locked on him. Of course a song so appropriate for her walk was playing, only adding fuel to the fire. Edward latched onto my hand as she continued to walk, squeezing with all of his strength. Her caramel eyes watched the action and anger flashed through them. By the time she was standing directly in front of us Edward was in a near panic mode and my heart had fallen to the pit of my stomach.

"Edward," she said with a smile that wasn't a smile at all. It was nasty and vicious. "It's been a while."

I felt a shudder go through his entire body as her icy words seared his skin. His grip on my hand tightened to the point of cutting off circulation as he held in a breath. His muscles were contracting rapidly as he fought the urge to hit or run. With a look up at him, I saw all of his fears placed right there on his beautiful face.

I wanted nothing more than to hurt her. She caused Edward all of this pain. She made him into the man he is today. And why? Because she was too selfish to say good-bye to the man she supposedly loved.

"Everything okay?" she asked with a smirk.

My eyes moved from Edward to her, glaring. How dare she have the audacity to ask that. She has no room to speak.

"I think you should leave," I hissed out, pulling Edward's arm around my waist so he was standing away from her.

Tanya chuckled before reaching for Edward's free hand. I heard him growl softly as he pulled away from her, ripping his hand from mine. It only took him a second to realize what he had done before he latched onto my arm.

Tanya glared.

"Just… leave me alone, okay?" he breathed out in anger. "I don't need you to show up and remind me of what I've lost. Just go."

Tanya took a collective step back as his words hit her. A look of confusion crossed her face, and the little devil on my shoulder danced at her pain. I tried to tell it to stop but it just wouldn't listen. Might as well enjoy it, too.

"Are you two together?" she asked out of the blue, surprising me. Where the hell did she get that idea from?

"What?" Edward asked, clearly as confused and surprised as I was.

She just shrugged. "Are you fucking her? Is that what this is all about? You think you can just flaunt your new piece of ass in front of me?"

"Hey! Who the hell do you think you are?" I screeched.

"Shut up, Bella," Edward mumbled in my ear, stopping me from saying anything further.

He stood up straighter and held his head high, taking on Tanya's statement as a challenge. She crossed her tiny tanned arms across her chest as she watched him, daring him to prove her wrong. I was left standing there in between the mess, not knowing what the hell to do.

"I'm not fucking her," Edward said with anger biting at the end of each word. "But I am with her. Don't think you can insult her because of what happened between us, Tanya, because I will be a step ahead of you. And you know just what I'll do."

A scared look crossed Tanya's features as Edward finished speaking. Her arms fell to her sides once he zipped his lips. I was so confused that I felt like punching both of them in the gut. What the hell was he going on about? What did he mean he'll 'be a step ahead' of her?

_Oh, my god. Can this be any more fucked up?_

"What do you mean you're with her?" Tanya whispered.

"She's my… My…" Edward took in a deep breath, daring one look down at me before he blurted it out.

And apparently it could become more fucked up. It was a night full of surprises, believe me.

"My girlfriend."

* * *

**... :)**

**Send me your thoughts. I know you're just dying to.**

**Loooooove youuuu allll.**


	9. They got all the right moves

**This chapter is on the suck-y side, but it needed to happen, so... Don't say I didn't warn you on the snooze level.**

* * *

_They got all the right moves_

_"What do you mean you're with her?" Tanya whispered._

_"She's my… My…" Edward took in a deep breath, daring one look down at me before he blurted it out._

_And apparently it could become more fucked up. It was a night full of surprises, believe me._

_"My girlfriend."_

"What?" I breathed out, all the warmth leaving my body. It was like someone had thrown a cold bucket of water over my head, making all the anger I felt vanish. In its place was worry.

Did Edward even hear himself? Is he aware of what he called me?

_Breathe, Bella. One thing at a time._

Edward turned to face me, his face hollow. His eyes were wide and his mouth opened and closed as he tried to figure out what the right thing to say to me was. Tanya's glared deepened, her eyes molding into little slits. I could feel her anger in her stare, but Edward blocked it from my vision as he grasped my arms tightly. I looked up into his eyes, noticing the worry making the color swirl. Tears also swam in his eyes, pooling at the bottom.

He was scared. More than I've ever seen him before.

"Please," he whispered, his mouth inches from my ear. His hot breath made me shiver as tingles slid down my spine straight down to my toes. "Please just go with it."

I sighed, my arms lifting as my chest heaved. I wanted to hide him away from all of this, but that would only make Tanya even more revengeful. She wanted nothing more than to see this boy hurt, and if I say no to him she'll get just that. I'll grant the biggest wish of hers.

There's no way in hell that I'll let that happen. He's mine to protect, mine to save.

I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, locking him in place. My eyes connected with Tanya's over Edward's shoulder as I whispered into his ear. "Okay. Only for you."

I felt him let out a shuddering breath of relief. "Thank you."

Tanya rose up her chin in defense as Edward pulled away from me. He turned his gave towards her but kept his arm around my waist. I molded into the side of him, just as any girlfriend would, as he began to speak.

"There's your proof, Tanya," he hissed out. "What more do you need?"

I noticed her bottom lip quiver before she bit down on it. She pushed a hand through her long hair before shaking her head, a dark chuckle leaving her velvet red lips.

"You think that I believe all of this?" She scoffed. "Please, Edward. This is all an act, but since you think this will work, I'll go with it. But be warned. I'll do whatever it takes to get you to come crawling back."

And with that, she blew Edward a kiss before turning around and walking back through the crowd of dancing bodies. Edward sighed as we both watched her disappear.

"I'm sorry for dragging you into this," he said to me as he pulled his arm away. I found it hard to not want to whimper at the loss of contact. "If I knew she'd be here I wouldn't have come, and I wouldn't have asked you to act like that for me. You deserve better, Bella."

I shook my head. This boy was unbelievable. He just faced his ex-girlfriend from hell and he's worried about me? You would think he'd be having some delayed panic attack just like he did the first time he saw her, but no. He was worried about how I felt.

Well, that just won't do. Tonight, it's about him. He needs to let all of his pent up frustration and whatever else he feels towards her out. I won't sit by and let him lock himself away like he's used to. I've gotten passed one of his walls, and I can't take two steps backwards.

"Edward, don't worry about me," I replied, grabbing onto his wrist to get him to look at me. Once I had his attention, I smiled. "See? I'm fine. That was nothing I couldn't handle. And I would've saved your ass any day. So, will you please just let yourself feel pissed instead of worry about me?"

He smiled softly and laughed quietly. "Let's get out of here first, okay?"

I nodded and let my hand fall from his wrist to his hand. I locked my fingers with his, ignoring the way my heart sped up as he gave my fingers a squeeze as best as I could as he pulled me after him through the dancing mob. We stopped every now and then as some of the other baseball players gave Edward high-fives and praises, wishing each other a great season once March rolls around. Soon enough, we were out the door and heading towards his car.

Did I mention that there still was a smile on his face? Well, there was. And it did things to my head and heart. Really, really good things.

Edward revved the engine after we both were safely in his car before speeding towards his home. My hand missed the warmth of his, but I knew that even if to one person we were together, it would never happen in reality. Like I told Alice, I couldn't let my feelings get in the way of trying to mend him. He needed a constant push in his life, and if I hold back because I'm afraid of pushing him because of the way I feel towards him, then he'd never be get better. He needed me to be the one who pushes him, the one who makes him feel so pissed, so happy, and so back to his old self. And I'll be damned if I get in the way of myself.

"You're lost in your head," Edward murmured as we passed the 'Welcome to Forks' sign. "What's up?"

I shrugged, blushing. "Nothing. But… there is something I'd like to discuss with you."

"Okay, shoot," he said, his smile faltering a little, and his hands gripped the steering wheel tighter.

"Well, Tanya doesn't really believe we're together, and I was thinking… if we want her off your back, then we have to make it believable, Edward. At school, we have to act like every other couple we see because she'll be watching us like a hawk. And we can't let anyone know that this isn't the real deal. If someone hears that it's not, they'll go straight to Tanya and she'll use that against us." I took in a deep breath. I was rambling again. "So… what I'm trying to say is that we need to do this the right way, and not half-ass it, okay?"

Edward was silent for a moment, but then he nodded in agreement. I noticed his eyes turn to me as his smile grew bigger.

"What?"

He chuckled. "You think of everything, you know that, right? I wouldn't have even seen through the cracks like you have. So, thank you. For everything."

I smiled, shrugging. "You're welcome. But don't think you get off that easy, Cullen. You owe me. Big time."

He laughed. A loud, beautiful laugh, and it made my heart squeeze in on itself.

"Whatever you want, Swan. You just name it."

**x-x-x-x**

It was Monday. The first day of my 'relationship' with Edward.

To say the least, I was nervous. We had no idea on how this could play out. This could practically be a disaster if we weren't careful. And it sucked knowing that I only had Edward to talk about this with. Now was a time that wished I could call up Alice and ask her for some advice.

But I couldn't. No one could know about the truth. Not even our closest friends.

I pulled my phone from my pocket after closing the door to my truck. I pressed on my messages button and opened up my conversation with Edward from last night.

**You remember what I told you last night, right? No one can know. Not Alice, not Jasper, no one. We're alone in this. So, final answer. Are you sure you want to go through with this? – Bella**

**I know, Bella. Calm down, okay? Things are going to work out; we just have to do things just like you said. We have to be like other couples. I'm in if you're in. – Edward**

**You're killing me, Cullen. You can't just leave your fate up to me, this is your lie you want to spread. I'm just a casualty. – Bella**

**You are not just a casualty, Bella. – Edward**

**You know what I mean, and stop avoiding the question! Is operation Get Tanya off Your Back a go? – Bella**

**Yes. Now, go to sleep. We have a big day ahead of us, girlfriend. ;) – Edward**

The wink… it was a start in getting him back to himself. Alice is the only one other than me that has gotten one from him, and it was just a smiley-face. I got a wink.

Yeah, my heart stopped for a second when I got that late last night.

I exited out of the messages before I lost myself and did something stupid. I shut my phone off and shoved it back into my pocket before walking over to where Alice and Jasper were. I looked around the lot for Edward's Volvo, but it was nowhere to be seen.

_He wouldn't skip today… He promised we're in this together… He better be here, or things will get ugly._

"B, there you are!" Alice yelled, waving her hand.

I rushed over to her and wrapped my arms around her in a hug. She squeezed me tightly before letting me go with a huge grin. I rolled my eyes and nodded to Jasper.

"Did she have too much sugar in her Coco Puffs this morning, because I seriously doubt it's legal to be this chipper on a Monday morning," I asked him with a teasing smirk.

Alice shrieked before punching me softly in the arm. "Shut up, Bells! I'm my normal chipper self. There's nothing wrong about that."

I laughed. "Alright, Ali. I was just teasing, geeze. Violence wasn't necessary."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry and all that good stuff," she replied with an eye roll. But then she turned to me with a glare. "You and Edward left without telling anyone Saturday! Thanks for ditching us. We had to get a ride with a deliriously happy Emmett and a pissed off Rosalie. That was not enjoyable at all."

"Deliriously happy? Did he win his fight?"

Alice nodded. "Oh, yeah. Paul tapped out after getting a hard punch to the ribs. Of course that was _after _Em got a black eye, so Rose was beyond pissed at the point. She and Emmett fought all the way home, and him being happy really ticked her off more. So, fair warning, they might be grumpy today."

"Great." _More to look forward to on this wonderful Monday morning…_

Alice's attention went right back to Jasper after we ended our conversation. Again, I looked around the parking lot to search out Edward's car, and this time I found it. He had just parked it… right next to my truck.

Ironic? Please, this is just a part of the act. We planned this brilliantly.

After locking his car, he walked straight towards me. He had a crooked grin on his face as he pulled his Ray-bans off his nose, his green eyes bright. He looked normal today in his grey t-shirt and jeans, not uptight like he usually was in his button-up shirts.

He looked like Edward before. And god, did I wish I had been able to meet him. He looked so happy.

"Whoa, is Edward smiling? On a Monday morning?" Alice asked from behind me. "Am I dead. Jazz, did I die or something?"

Jasper chuckled before silencing her with a kiss.

Edward took the final three steps towards me before pulling me towards his chest. My arms instinctively wrapped around his neck as his gave me a hard squeeze around my waist. As I looked over his shoulder I noticed that the whole lot was staring at us. Including Tanya.

And, boy, was she mad!

_Point for team Cullen-Swan._

"It's working," I whispered into his ear. "She looks livid."

I felt him chuckle before he let me go, but not before he placed a delicate kiss onto my temple. He smiled down at me as I stared up at him with wide eyes, but he just shrugged it off.

_It's an act, Bella. Remember?_

Right.

"Holy shit," Alice whispered. "I'm most definitely dreaming if that just happened."

"Why don't we give them a moment, Edward?" Jasper stated. "I think Alice might explode if she had to wait for lunch just to ask Bella what that was all about."

Edward smiled. "I don't see what's to talk about. I just kissed my girl on the forehead like any good boyfriend would."

"What!" Alice shrieked loudly.

"Yeah, we better leave now," Jasper said with a laugh.

Edward kissed me again on the temple before following after Jasper. The sound of his laughter faded with the distance, but Alice's shrieking made it disappear.

"Isabella Marie Swan, you've got some explaining to do!"

Better now than later, right?

* * *

**See? It was all kinds of boring. Ugh, I hate it. I'm sorry, but I do.  
**

**So, give me your thoughts? I'm skipping Alice and Bella's talk because we need some Edward input, yes?**

**Who wants the next one? (:**


	10. Never say never

**I'm back!**

**I know, I know, I took too long. I'll be better, I promise.**

**Have some Edward today, though! (:**

* * *

_Never say never_

My brain wouldn't shut off.

I lie awake in my bed, my phone resting in my hand. It was still dimly glowing from when I replied to Bella and made sure to press on the screen before it could shut off completely. I don't really know why I kept it on, but I felt safer knowing that I had some sort of connection with her.

Maybe I was hoping for her to reply? I don't know. All I did know was that later on in the morning I'll be so vulnerable that it's almost sad.

This plan of mine is really risky. I know that. I shouldn't have just said that to Tanya to get her off my back. But what else was I supposed to do? Bella was standing right there, and all I knew was that it was the perfect plan to distance myself from Tanya.

Never in my wildest dreams did I actually think Bella would agree to this. I know that I wouldn't have.

_Have you ever thought that maybe Bella is selfless? Or that she just feels sorry for you?_

The latter, please. That's my final answer.

I sighed, rubbing a hand over my overly tired eyes. I normally never sleep because of my dreams, but now it's because I'm too anxious.

How will I ever pull this off? I'm not capable of showing those affectionate feelings again. My poor heart can't possibly take it, especially now after what Tanya did to it. She practically ripped it right from my chest, crushing what was left of it in the palm of her hand.

My eyes began to water as my bottom lip trembled. The breath I took in was shaky because I was trying my hardest to keep in the sobs. Every time that I would think about this my heart breaks even more. I keep putting myself in this torture for no reason; I've decided to let her go. But… I can't.

Just then, my phone vibrated in my hand. I lifted it up so I could read it with hopeful eyes.

**Good night, Edward. I'll be waiting for my kiss bright and early, so pucker up. ;) – Bella**

A laugh bubbled up out of my chest as a smile spread wide across my face. All of my thoughts of Tanya were completely erased and disfigured by a brown-eyed beauty with luscious long hair and a curvaceous body. Her laugh is infectious and her smile brings warmth to my heart.

And I finally fell asleep, my dream starring that beautiful girl who made everything better.

**x-x-x-x-x**

"So… you and Bella?" Jasper asked while we took our seats in the cafeteria. When we walked away from Alice and Bella we never really got the chance to talk, and now as we waited for the two, I guess he saw it fit to ask.

I smiled, just like any guy would in the honeymoon stage. "Yeah… I mean, it's nothing official, but I like her. A lot, man."

Jasper gaped at me, his eyes wide.

"What?"

"You're not lying."

I nodded to him.

Jasper gasped. "Holy _shit_! Edward, you're capable of feeling something again! Praise Jesus!"

His yell captured the attention of all the tables surrounding us. All of the people sitting around us started to point and whisper, causing me to glare. I turned my glare towards Jazz and noticed his wide grin.

I smacked Jasper in the chest, hard. "Shutthefuckup!"

"Ow, mothe- What the hell?" he asked while rubbing his chest.

I shrugged and bit off a piece of my pizza. "Don't saf yoo din't deserf it."

"English, dude."

I swallowed. "I said, don't say you didn't deserve it, you ass hat."

Jasper smiled and chuckled, all while watching me with careful eyes. I continued to glare as I continued to eat, not really sure on what I should say to make him look for his girlfriend. It wasn't like she was here to save me from this because she'd just do the same thing he is. I swear, those two don't know when to shut it.

Finally, Jasper picked up his sandwich and started to eat. I relaxed after noticing that his eyes moved away from me, letting out a big breath. This was harder than I thought, and I thought kissing Bella's forehead was hard.

I really am way in over my head here…

"So, what made you fall for the girl?" Jasper asked while pulling the crust off his bread. "Was it her looks, or her awesome personality?"

"It was her personality," I replied, getting this weird feeling in my chest. It almost felt like what I was stating was true… but… what?

_Focus, man. Bella's not really that into you like that. And neither are you. Remember?_

Right, yeah. Focused.

"Ah, I know what you mean," Jazz commented. "Alice hooked me in with that crazy personality of hers. Let's just say that it never gets tiring with her, if you know what I mean."

I stopped chewing and turned to face him, my eyes turning into slits. Jasper's eyes grew wide.

"What?"

"That's. My. Cousin," I hissed out. "That's what."

"Oh, shit…"

"Yeah. Fucker."

And I punched the fucker. Right in his good arm.

"FUCKIN' SHIT!"

Satisfied smirk? Yeah, it's on my face.

"Hey! Why'd you punch him?"

_Oh, hey Alice. Didn't see ya there._

I shrugged and picked my pizza back up. "He was talking about your guys' sex life, and I did _not_ need to hear about it, so I punched him. I didn't see anything wrong with it."

Alice glared as she sat down across from Jasper. "Jerk."

But I didn't care. Because the beautiful girl from my dream last night sat down beside me, pulling her chair close to mine. She smiled at me as I leaned down and kissed her cheek.

"Hey," I whispered to her when I pulled away, but keeping close enough that our noses touched.

"Hi," she replied with her stunning smile. "How were your classes this morning?"

"Fine, I guess. I thought about you most of the time."

She shook her head and giggled, a blush creeping onto her cheeks. I smiled with her as my own chuckle lifted out of my chest.

As we continued to eat, I rested my arm on the back of Bella's chair, and I felt her move closer and closer to me as time went on. Somehow, my arm ended up around her shoulders at the end of the lunch period, and she held my hand all the way up to the trash line until we were outside in the huge crowd of students.

"So, what's going on after school?" she asked while wrapping my arm back around her shoulder as we walked.

I shrugged. "You could come over. I'm sure Alice will invite you, anyway."

Bella stopped walking and turned to face me. I couldn't help but look around to make sure there weren't people around, but I saw where she had led us. We were hidden behind the school buildings, completely alone.

"Alice can't invite me, Edward," she said. "_You_ have to. We're sort of dating, remember?"

I nodded and sighed. "Shit, yeah… Sorry."

"It's okay. I just don't want…" Her voice trailed off as she watched my reactions, and I knew what she saw.

I knew what name she was going to say. I wasn't stupid. It didn't mean that I didn't have an effect on me.

"Edward…"

"I'm fine," I snapped, blocking her out just like I normally do with everyone else.

She shook her head and reached up, cupping my cheek with her hand. She used that hand to push my face towards her so we had direct eye contact. I saw worry in her brown orbs.

"No," she whispered to me. "You're not."

I blinked my eyes as I felt the tears approach. She smiled softly at me, using her thumb to rub soothing patterns under my right eye.

"But you will be," she continued. "I know you will. Today, so far, has been proof of that."

I smiled at her words, nodding once to agree with her. "Thank you."

Her smile grew as she moved in to hug me. "You're welcome."

My arms wrapped tightly around her small waist, and I placed a soft kiss on her cheek. She pulled away with her smile before she dismissed herself with a wave. I watched her go until her body disappeared in the crowd.

I knew that Bella was right; that I can and will get better after this is said and done. But I couldn't do it on my own.

No, because it was all her that was helping me mend my broken heart. Somehow, someway, she was putting it back together.

And I didn't want to try and stop her.

* * *

**Is Edward falling or just healing?**

**We want more?**


	11. No' one man should have all that power

__**It's been a while. I apologize for that. Inspiration ran away to a different story.**

**Hopefully this makes up for it.**

* * *

_No' one man should have all that power_

Friday came too fast. The week passed us by in a blur, leading to where I stand now, my own reflection glaring back at me. I couldn't recognize the woman standing before me because I was just the girl dreaming of being her. I dreamed that my hair would curl like this everyday, that my lips were really this red and fierce. I longed to have the long, thick lashes that she has. I wanted her clothes to be in my closet.

But I could live without the heels. They were killer.

A whistle echoed throughout the room, making me jump. I noticed Emmett's reflection in the mirror over my shoulder, his mouth set in a smirk. I rolled my eyes and blushed.

"Lookin' good, B," he said after a chuckle.

I scoffed with a smile. "Thanks, Em."

He tipped his head once before walking back down the hall. I watched him go before my eyes focused on the brown ones surrounded by gray eye shadow. With a deep breath, I mentally gave myself the pep talk a girl like me needed in this type of situation, before turning around and leaving Alice's room. I followed the stairs down to where the familiar voices of my friend's were. I would be lying if I said I wasn't hesitating to just jump head first into this night, but seeing Edward caused something to stir in my chest.

He was smiling again, the real smile that I was starting to see more and more with each passing day. His right hand was planted in the mess of hair on top his head as he laughed with Jasper. My cheeks warmed as I watched him, and it spread down my neck to my chest. I had to bite down on my lip to control my labored breathing.

Just these past few days with him has made me see this whole different side to him. He's funny and sarcastic, making jokes mostly about himself if they weren't about his brother. He's caring and shy when he thought he had said too much, his cheeks turning a beautiful shade of pink. He's musically brilliant. God, just watching him play the piano… it did weird things to me.

But… seeing him now… This was the Edward I wanted. I wanted him happy, just like he was now. I didn't want any more sadness and darkness lurking in his heart. He didn't deserve that fate that was thrown onto him by his old love. It wasn't fair.

"There you are!" Alice's voice screeched, bringing me out of my obvious staring at her cousin. My cheeks flamed with embarrassment as every eye in the room turned to me, and I could hear the obnoxious sound of Alice clapping her damn hands. "You look awesome! Heels do wonders for your legs, woman. Wear them more often."

"Sure, Alice," I replied with an eye roll. "I'll get right on that."

She stuck her tongue out at me before turning towards the group of people behind her. I moved to stand besides Edward, my hand aligning with his. His fingers moved between mine before closing them. I felt him give my hand a hard squeeze as Alice began to talk about her 'game-plan' for tonight.

"Okay, since there's not a football game tonight, I think we're okay to leave later than we normally do for the party. As you all probably know by now, Jacob is – in fact – invited. He has confirmed that he will be attending," Alice said with a sneer.

Emmett chuckled darkly before hitting his shoulder with Edward's. "We all know what the means."

_No, Emmett. We don't. Explain._

Edward groaned as he shook his head. "Not happening tonight."

Emmett pouted. "Come on, bro! It's been a year in the making, the biggest fight of our time! You have to!"

_A fight? Who's fighting? What's going on?_

_Oh, for Christ's sake, Bella. Use your mouth!_

Right.

"'The biggest fight of our time?' What the hell are you going on about, Emmett?" I asked, my tone full of disbelief.

The fucker had the decency to glare at me, like I was the one who should know what he was going on about. Clearly that's what happens when you've recently moved into town in his eyes.

"Jacob Black is scum," he hissed out. "I hate him, Alice hates him, Rose hates him, practically everyone hates him in Forks. _Especially_ Edward."

My disbelieving eyes moved up to said hater. The look of agreement with Emmett wasn't that hard to mistake on his face, even when he tried his best to hide it.

"Now, Bella, I know what you're thinking," he said as he grasped my other hand.

I shook my head, still not hearing a word they were saying to me. "No. You really don't."

"But nothing's going to happen tonight," he continued, acting like I hadn't said anything. "Jacob may try to provoke me, but I'll just ignore him. It's not worth it anymore. I've decided to just save our rivalry for the field."

"Good decision," Jasper commented, but was drowned out by Emmett's yelling.

"THAT'S COMPLETE BULLSHIT!"

_Smack!_ Rose's hand to Emmett's head. Gotta love that girl.

"Language, mister," she warned. "And leave him be. I personally think it's a good decision, as well. It gives the fans something to look forward to, a little extra something for this season."

Emmett shook his head as he rubbed the spot Rosalie smacked. "I don't like it. Not one bit."

"Well, get over it," Rose replied with a glare. "It's Edward's choice, not Emmett's."

Emmett pouted again, tried to say something, but Rose stopped him with a raised hand. The room erupted in quiet laughs as we watched the two interact with each other, breaking some of the tension that had built up.

Our laughs died down, leaving us in a silence that I had to break.

"So, there won't be any fighting tonight, right?"

Alice laughed but nodded. "Right."

"Better not be," I grumbled out, huddling closer to Edward. "Fucker's too pretty."

Edward tensed up in surprise as the room erupted in loud guffaws. I smirked up at him before sticking out my tongue childishly. He rolled his eyes before pulling me close to him with his arm. He leaned down to my ear, his lips tickling the shell of it.

"You'll regret that," he whispered.

I shivered. He chuckled.

**x-x-x-x-x**

The party was in full swing when we finally arrived, just like it had been the first time. But, this time, Edward's arm was locked around my waist as we walked through the gyrating bodies as they danced. I caught his eye several times as he pushed our way through, a reassurance that I was following him, I supposed. Alice held onto my hand tightly as she pulled Jasper behind her. Emmett and Rose were long gone by the time we made it to the opened front door.

We walked until we found a secluded corner, away from the madness in the middle of the living room. Alice and Jasper walked off to find some of their friends, leaving Edward and I alone.

"I'm gonna go get us something to drink, okay?" he said after leaning closer so I could hear him over the loud music. "Don't go anywhere."

I nodded in reply, watching him as he pushed his way towards the kitchen. A new song started to play, causing the dancing bodies to cheer as they threw their hands up in the air. I couldn't help the tapping of my foot; it was a catchy song with a heavy bass beat. After the first verse played, I saw a hand being outstretched in front of me with a blinding white smile behind it.

"Wanna dance?" asked the boy with tanned skin and black hair. "A song like this shouldn't be danced alone, especially in a corner like this."

I giggled at his foolish words and let my hand fall into his. Edward was taking a long time, and I was supposed to be making friends tonight so I wasn't the center of attention at school anymore, so I didn't see any harm in dancing with the boy. He pulled me behind him as he walked towards the group of dancers. Soon enough, I was shaking my hips to the beat as I laughed at the boy's silly dance moves.

"You're good at this!" I laughed out as he spun me around, wrapping his arms around my torso. He flung me back out, his hand doing spirit fingers in the air. I covered my face with my hands as I continued to laugh.

I felt his hands on my hips and his lips close to my ear. "You're not so bad yourself…?"

"Bella," I replied as we continued to dance. "You?"

"_Jacob." _It wasn't his infectious voice that hissed out his name.

It was Edward.

The music began to slow as the ending beats played. The boy I was dancing with stopped moving all together before a menacing laugh left his lips. Edward's green eyes met mine with worry swirling the color around. His grip on the two red solo cups in his hands was tight, the plastic crunching with each passing second. The boy – Jacob – spun around on the heels of his shoes, blocking my view of Edward with his wide set shoulders.

"Well, well," he said sarcastically. "If it isn't the infamous Edward Cullen. It's nice to see you out and about, seeing as how your girl up and left you without a single word."

His last sentence rang around the room, the music completely stopped now. The people that were dancing around us minutes ago were spectating now as the tension cackled with electricity.

The two men were glaring at each other, their arm muscles tight. Edward had thrown the cups aside, splashing the wall with the liquid. Now, his hands were clenched into prepared fists, a sight I had never thought I would see.

Edward was angry, filled with hatred. His eyes were dark, his body shaking.

He was man seeking revenge.

Jacob chuckled, taunting Edward. "What? Cat got your tongue, Cullen?"

"You don't know a thing about me, Black," Edward panted out.

"I know that you're still hopelessly lusting after her," Jacob replied with a smirk. "But, guess who she showed up to this shindig with? _Me_. That's right, me. That has got to sting a bit, Cullen. It's okay if you want to cry; everyone here knows that you're all bark but no bite. So, go ahead, cry, just like the baby you are."

"Enough!"

All eyes turned to me. _Oh, shit. Did I say that?_

Edward's wide eyes confirmed that I did, in fact, blurt that out. Wonderful.

"Bella, stay out of this," Edward pleaded as Jacob turned to me with wondering eyes. "Please."

For a second, Jacob's eyes roamed over me. I grew uncomfortable as his dark eyes watched me, but then I noticed him putting the puzzle pieces together when a dark smile moved his lips. His hand reached out for me faster than I could react, and he pulled me close to his large body. The tight muscles in his arm wrapped around my neck as he placed it around my shoulder. I was locked in place, afraid.

"Bella, huh?" Jacob asked Edward, his tone filled with power he felt that he had now. "She's pretty, Cullen. Mind if barrow her like I barrowed T?"

Edward growled, his foot rose in the air like he was ready to charge, but Emmett's hand on his shoulder held him back. I felt the air rush out of my lungs in relief, not for my freedom, but for Edward. It was a foolish move to provoke Jacob, one that could possibly lead him a bed in the ER.

Call me crazy, but I was used to being a regular at the ER. I was okay with a few scuffs and bruises, but Edward didn't deserve this right now.

"Jacob," Emmett growled out, "not here. Just let Bella go."

Jacob's arm tightened, pulling me even closer. His eyes connected with mine as he traced a finger down my cheek. "I don't think so, Emmett. She's got this pure look, so you know what that means."

Catcalls filled the room as Jacob laughed. I felt my body being pushed away before safe arms caught me. Edward held me close as Emmett latched onto Jacob's shirt with his fists.

"Come near Bella, or Rose, or Alice again and you're dead," he warned in a hiss. "Do you understand me? Because it won't just be Edward who comes after your ass, but it'll be Whitlock and me. So, you better train up, asshole, if you're wagering to fight because you won't last a second in the shape you're in now."

Emmett let Jacob go with a push, landing the boy on the floor. Emmett started to walk away, but thought better of it when he landed a swift kick to Jacob's side. Jacob groaned out in pain as Emmett walked towards the door, calling, "Let's go!" as he went.

Jacob was cursing loudly as Edward picked me up bridal style. He carried me out the door and placed me in the passenger seat of his car before speeding away from the now quiet party.

"Are you all right?" I heard him whisper out after driving for ten minutes in silence. "Did he hurt you?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm fi-"

"God, Bella, how could you be so stupid? _Dancing with him?_ What the hell were you thinking?" Edward said, stopping me mid-sentence. His face was red with anger.

"I-I didn't know it was him," I squeaked out. "I was just doing what Alice had asked me, I was just trying to make friends, Edward. I promise. If I had known it was him, then I would've walked away, I swear."

Edward let out a heavy breath. "Seeing you dancing with him… God, I was so worried. You put your hands over your face, and all I could think was, '_he's hurting her. He's degrading her.' _Do you have any idea how scared I was in that moment?"

When I didn't answer, he continued. "I was absolutely terrified, Bella," he said softly. "I could've lost you."

"No," I replied with a start. "Never, Edward. You'll never lose me. I'm here."

As I tried to reassure him with senseless words, tears started to fall from his eyes. I managed to persuade him to pull the car over as sobs started to shake him. But when I couldn't console him, I started to worry.

Tanya had left him before, but in a different sense. He was scared that Jacob would make me think different about him, afraid that I would out him about this fake 'relationship' we had. He was scared that I wouldn't trust him.

"Edward," I whispered, "nothing can make me change my mind about you. Not even you. I don't care about this rivalry with Jacob, I don't care that Tanya broke your heart – I just care about _you. _You're my reason to trust you."

"You don't mean that," he answered sadly. "I apologize for dragging you into this, Bella. Tomorrow we can just forget we even tried this stupid idea."

"No."

He looked up from his hands, his watery eyes meeting my strong ones.

"I'm not letting you go," I continued. "Not our stupid idea, not the best friendship I've made so far, not getting to know you, not seeing you smile more, not even the part of you that can't let Tanya go yet. I want all of it."

A smile began to grow on Edward's face as my words sunk in. I grabbed onto his hand before squeezing it.

"I want this," I said with a shy smile.

"Thank you," he breathed out in reply. "For everything."

"You're welcome."

It was in that moment that I realized just how much my relationship with Edward wasn't a lie.

* * *

**Hello bad boy Jake. How's it feel being the big, bad wolf?**

**We're just getting started, darlings. You ready for this?**


	12. Mirror on the wall, here we are again

**Edward today. I had a different chapter started, but I think this was needed. We needed to get in his head.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_Mirror on the wall, here we are again…_

I dropped Bella off without a word. She must have understood how I felt because she didn't fight me on it. I still felt shitty about it, but I just couldn't shake the feeling of rage and anger I've had since I saw Jacob's hand touching her arm.

And I felt… I don't even know. But I was upset that she just let him get to her like that. She wasn't his.

_She's mine._

The voice in my head surprised me. Bella wasn't mine to have; she was just a nice girl doing something for a bruised man like me. That didn't give me the right to claim her as my own. Where was this protective side of me coming from?

I was never one to be this way, not even with Tanya. She used to pull this shit with me and all I can remember was how mad I felt about it. She wouldn't allow any of my friends that were girls come close to me unless they added her into our conversation. And that pissed me off. She didn't have the right to butt in like that, even if she was the girl I loved. It wasn't right.

So, why do I feel this way towards Bella? It was all a lie; there weren't any feelings there…

Right?

I shook my head before driving forward from the stop sign I was sitting at. Whatever the hell I took of sip of tonight must have been stronger than I thought.

Finally home, I walked my tired body through the dark house. I peeked into the living room and my father's office before locking myself in my room. My eyes immediately flew to the piano, those dark feelings making my fingers itch to touch the ivory keys.

I was angry with Black and myself, and playing was my only way to let those feelings out without throwing a punch at mentioned asshole.

I started to walk towards it when the sound of my phone vibrating on my nightstand stopped me. I picked it up and unlocked the screen, Bella's message box popping up.

**I know what you're going to do, Edward. Please don't blame yourself. I'm fine, remember? - Bella**

This girl was so selfless. How did I get so lucky to find a girl who understood without really knowing the whole story? Even after I told her it, I still had things locked up inside of me that I couldn't drag back out. I was content with keeping them in the past, but, whenever I looked into Bella's chocolate eyes, I get this feeling that everything I tell her will stay with her. She wouldn't run away with my secrets and share them. She wasn't Tanya.

And, for that, I was grateful.

**It astounds me how much you know. Are you stalking me now? – Edward**

I reread my message to her before sending it, a soft laugh leaving my lips. Those dark feelings inside me were beginning to lessen, and my fingers were content with the typing on my cold touch screen on my iPhone. I didn't need the sad music of my piano when I had this bright and happy girl to talk to.

My phone vibrated in my hand as I sat down to pull off my shoes. I unlocked it with a smile.

**Of course I am. What kind of girlfriend do you take me for, Cullen? Only the best ones stalk. ;) – Bella**

This time I let out a loud laugh. She always knew the right things to say to cheer me up, even when I thought I was feeling pretty good for what I've been through. I just hoped I could do the same for her.

**Nice to know that you're classified as 'best girlfriend' even if it's not real. I'd nominate you for the award if there were one. – Edward**

I sent that message before reading it again. My fingers started to move on their own mind, typing out another message.

**You deserve someone who will see that, Bella. You know that right? – Edward**

I didn't know where that came from, I just felt like it needed to be said. If she didn't know how well she should be treated, then I'll tell her. I'll remind her everyday that after this thing blows over that a great guy will be waiting in the wings to sweep her off her feet.

So, why did that thought bother me so much?

I pulled my shirt over my head before leaning my elbows on my knees. I ran my hands through my hair as I tried to think things over once again.

Did Bella feel this weird protectiveness towards me? Is that why she said she'd pretend to be my girl? Or was it because she thought I was just some guy who needed help and it would satisfy her if she filled that position?

God, I was so confused…

My phone vibrated again. I hesitated, knowing that something from my last two messages could open up a conversation I wasn't ready for. But I was dying to know what she said, so I unlocked my screen with closed eyes before opening them when I couldn't wait any longer.

**I already have someone that sees that. Even if what we have between us isn't real, I still want to be there for you, Edward. – Bella**

Before I could begin to type out my reply another message from her came through, another white bubble popping up under her last message.

**And you deserve someone who will take care of you and not make you relive that horrid relationship with the girl who will not be named. Do you understand that? – Bella**

I shook my head at myself as I scoffed at her messages. If I were to find another girl like Tanya I think I'd stop dating all together. It was too much pain to relive through, especially now when I had someone that took all that pain away.

**Thank you, Bella. – Edward**

I set my phone back down on my bed before changing into some sweatpants. I got under the blankets and stared up at my ceiling as my thoughts continued to question everything about the mystery that was Bella.

Could she really have feelings for someone like me? I didn't know. What I did know was that I would ask her.

I closed my eyes, trying to stop the thoughts running through my head. I drifted in and out of sleep before my phone woke me up with it's ringing. I held it up in front of my face and read the message I received two hours ago.

**For what? – Bella**

**For being here for me. No other girl would be doing what you are, and I don't deserve your kindness but I'm glad I have it. I know it's late, and you're probably asleep, but I just wanted you to know that –**

_What? I want her to know what?_

**I just wanted you to know that I do care for you. A lot. Sweet dreams, B. – Edward**

As I watched the progress bar at the top my heart pounded away in my chest. I set my phone down beside me as I stared up at the ceiling once again.

I knew that Bella and I had some things that we needed to discuss. One being if there were any feelings there, because I sure as hell didn't know what all of this… _protectiveness_ inside of me was. I just hoped that she would understand.

_Tomorrow, Cullen. You can ask her tomorrow._

And I would.

* * *

**I know this took forever, and it wasn't as long, but Edward's short and sweet and to the point. He doesn't mess around.**

**Someone's birthday is coming up... will there be a birthday kiss?**

**Do you want it?**


	13. If you never said anything

**Well, well. Is there someone still with me, or did you all give up on me? I'm not sure what to think, but I know that I'm sorry for making you wait this long. College is crazy, and it's only the beginning.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

_If you never said anything_

Morning came all too soon. Luckily, behind my eyelids, I could tell that there was more light shining in my room than there normally was in gloomy Forks. The sun glared through my window, bathing my unprotected skin that was above the sheets of my bed in warmth. A smile crept across my face as I sat up with a stretch.

Today was a good day, and it was Saturday. Charlie was out fishing since five o'clock this morning, and probably wouldn't be back until nightfall. I would have the house to myself, plenty of time to be lazy and enjoy this day off.

My phone beeped from where I had thrown it late last night after sending my last message to Edward. I pulled on a sweatshirt before I grabbed it and walked out of my room, sliding the unlock bar with my finger.

**I'm soooooo mad at you. – Alice**

Not the good morning text I was hoping to find, but I'll bite. My fingers moved as my feet pounded on the stairs as I walked.

**I can only imagine why. – Bella**

I stuffed my phone into my pocket as I walked into the kitchen. I pondered over the many things Alice could be mad at me for today as I made myself a bowl of cereal and toast. I did take some of her Lifesavers candies out of her purse Thursday morning, but I didn't think she would care too much about it… Weird.

**For one, you didn't tell me about what the hell happened last night at the party! Two, Edward's been smiling ever since he came out of his room this morning. What the hell happened after you left last night? – Alice**

Ah, yeah. Forgot about that one…

To say that I was a little shell-shocked after the fiasco would be putting it lightly. The feeling of Jacob's hands on my arms resurfaced, making my skin crawl with goose bumps. I never wanted his hands to ever touch me again. I feared the next time he did things wouldn't be as easy as they were last night.

Apparently, I took too long for Alice's tastes to reply back to her message because my phone started playing the ringtone she had specifically set for herself.

"Hello?"

"You seriously are the slowest texter I have met," she replied. I could literally feel the glare she was probably giving her nails or the wall. "What's more important than telling me details that are vital to my life?"

I looked down at my now soggy Applejacks. "Eating."

"Boring."

"No, vital," I deadpanned. "I need food to survive. Haven't you learned anything in school?"

She sighed. "_Whatever_."

I smiled and held back a giggle. "So, do you want to know, or can I continue to eat in silence like I was five minutes ago before you rudely interrupted? Mr. Chair and I were getting along swell, but you had to butt in."

"Really, Bella? Mr. Chair?" Before I had time to interject, she went on without a hitch. "Yes, I do want to know what happened last night. All I got from what Rosalie told me was that Black basically tried to stake his claim on you with Edward watching. Plus, the she-devil was there! And then Emmett hurt someone, don't really care to know who since I don't like either one of them, so… Help a sister out."

I sighed and rubbed at my temple with my fingers. This started out as a good morning, but now…

"It's better if I just explain in person," I replied. "Be here in fifteen?"

I heard shuffling come from her side of the line. "Make it ten."

**x-x-x-x-x**

Alice arrived with thirty seconds to spare. When she says ten minutes, she literally means that she'll be there in ten minutes. I opened the door to her smile before I was pushed aside to let her in. Before I could get the front door fully closed, she started her questioning.

"What did Jacob want from you? What did Tanya say to Edward? Did she say anything to you? I swear to on my life, if she hu–"

"Alice!" I grabbed onto her shoulders and shook her back to reality. "I'll explain everything, I promise. But slow down, okay?"

She nodded and pretended to zip her lip shut.

I led her into the living room, sitting down beside her on the couch. Her blue eyes watched me closely, waiting for me to spill my guts. I sat there, staring at my hands, my fingers chipping away the black nail polish I had painted on a few days ago.

Did I really want to relive last night? No. I'd rather shove those memories to the darkest corner of my brain and let them disappear, never to return. But I knew I had to divulge the details with Alice. If not for myself but for Edward.

Alice was the closest one to him besides me, and I knew that not knowing what happened last night was probably killing her on the inside. Before I showed up, it was her job to keep tabs on Edward and to protect him. Hell, it was every one of our friends' job to keep his wellbeing in mind. And, now that I've taken the role on for myself, it's hard for Alice to let go of it.

And, let's face it, I could use some help in the department right now with the way things were escalating.

"I didn't see Tanya at the party, but Jacob said she was there," I began after a deep breath. "They're together, too. Jacob and Tanya. I don't know if it's really about feelings, but he confirmed that Tanya was with him."

Alice grimaced. "Gross. I hope she gets pregnant."

"Alice," I warned, not really in the mood to play games.

"Right, sorry. Continue."

I puffed up my cheeks with air before letting it out slowly. "Well, I was standing by myself, waiting for Edward to get back from the kitchen. He went to get us something to drink. I thought I wasn't attracting attention; I was just standing there, tapping my foot to the music, when all of a sudden Jacob's hand was outstretched towards me.

"He asked me to dance, and I stupidly said yes because I didn't think anything of it. You told me to make friends and that was what I was trying to do. After a few minutes of dancing he asked me my name, and when I asked for his, that's when Edward intervened." I gave a humorless laugh. "To say the least, he wasn't very happy to know I was with the one guy he hated the most on the planet."

Alice placed a comforting hand on my arm, her eyes filled with understanding. "It wasn't your fault. You had no idea. I shouldn't have suggested for you to make friends. If anyone should be sorry, it's me."

I shook my head. "No, no. Making friends is what I need to do. I hate being the center of attention at school. I just managed to pick out the wrong guy at the wrong time."

Alice nodded. "You did."

I glared. "Not helping."

She smiled sweetly. "Continue."

"Well, things went from bad to worse at that moment. Jacob placed his arm over my shoulders and pulled me close to him." I shuddered at the memory. "Edward got even more pissed and almost charged at him. Good thing Emmett stepped in, or we'd be having this conversation in the hospital."

"Then what happened?" Alice asked with concern. "Did he hurt you?"

"No. Emmett took matters into his own hands," I replied with the look Rose, Alice, and I usually share when it comes to Emmett's shenanigans. "After that, Edward and I left."

Alice stared at me with expectant eyes, her eyebrows raised in question. "That's it? Nothing else happened after?"

"Yep," I responded. No need to go into detail about Edward and mine's late night conversation.

Alice's mouth was opened, the words she wanted to say on the tip of her tongue, but was cut off by the sound of Taylor Swift's "Red" playing from her hoodie's pocket. She rolled her eyes as she pulled her iPhone out of the pocket and answered the call I knew was from Jasper.

"This better be good," she said into the phone.

As she talked to her boyfriend, I pulled out my own phone and reread the messages Edward and I had sent to one another from last night. There was one unread message from him that I got earlier this morning. I tapped on it to view it.

**For being here for me. No other girl would be doing what you are, and I don't deserve your kindness but I'm glad I have it. I know it's late, and you're probably asleep, but I just wanted you to know that I do care for you. A lot. Sweet dreams, B. – Edward**

A small smile parted my lips as I typed out a new message to him.

**Morning, Cullen. Hope yours is going better than mine. You pixie cousin is sitting next to me and is currently arguing with her beloved. Save me? – Bella **

I didn't know what I had meant when I typed the last sentence, but I didn't care. The house felt suffocating knowing that he was only a short drive away. I wanted to get dolled up and go out again without any of the complications that were thrown our way like they were last night. I wanted to hear his laugh, see him smile, and be able to just breathe easier with him near. My skin crawled, longing for the feeling of his fingertips playing invisible piano keys on my arms.

I just needed him so much closer, and I was willing to do anything for him to be here.

My phone vibrated in my hand, signaling a new message. I didn't hesitate to open it.

**Good morning to you, Bella. I'm sorry to hear about what Alice has done to you. I can probably squeeze you in between spending quality time with my bed. Only if you promise to join us. Or do you have something better in mind? – Edward**

I knew he was joking, but the butterflies in my stomach made me think otherwise. Just the thought of him in his bed, waiting for me with open arms…

_Slow down. Not actually dating, remember?_

Right.

"Jasper, I know! I'm leaving right now," Alice growled into the phone. She stood up and held a hand over the mic of her phone. "Sorry to cut things short, but Jasper's riding my ass about lunch with his parents. Call me tonight?"

I nodded as I pressed the lock button on my phone. Alice had killer senses, and the faster I could get her out of here, the faster I could get to Edward. "Sure. Have fun!"

She smiled and winked before walking towards the front door, her conversation continuing with Jasper as the front door opened. Once the door clicked shut, I unlocked my phone and typed out my reply to Edward.

**How about lunch? Alice disturbed my date with breakfast, and I could use some greasy food from the Lodge. – Bella**

After sending the message, I raced up the stairs and flung the doors of my closet open once I was inside my room. I gazed at the clothes I had, trying to imagine what the pieces would look like together. After minutes of speculation, I pulled out a red sweater that fell off the shoulder and a black pair of jeans. I had Alice to thank for the outfit, and I was glad I had agreed to her buying it for me. I didn't think I would wear it, but never say never.

I pulled on my clothes and ran a brush through my hair. It managed to still be wavy from last night and didn't look too bad, so I let it be. I pinned my bangs back with a red headband and gave my eyelashes a quick swish of mascara. Not to gloat, but I didn't look half bad.

I grabbed my phone from where I placed it and opened up the messages with Edward, reading the newest one.

**Sounds perfect. Leaving my house as I type this. See you soon. – Edward**

A blush spread over my body as a squeal emerged from my lips. I was acting like a total girl, but I couldn't contain my excitement.

And here I thought I was just going to spend the day in my pajamas watching _F.R.I.E.N.D.S_ reruns.

This was _so_ much better.

* * *

**So, I'm back, sorta.**

**How about some lunch, old friends?**


	14. You make a mess of me

**Back once again.**

* * *

_You make a mess of me_

"She'll take a sweet tea," Edward told our waitress, a smile on his face as he did.

He was so happy today, and I couldn't help but smile along with him. When he's happy everything feels right in our world of crazy. If there wasn't a smile on his face, I'd probably drown in everything that was happening to us. I was thankful for him.

"Thank you," I replied, nudging his leg with my foot under the table.

He shrugged before blowing his straw wrapper at my face. "No problem, B."

I giggled like a little school girl as I threw the balled-up wrapper back at him, completely missing him.

We were both laughing quietly to ourselves, smiles splitting our faces, sugary drinks flowing down our throats as we talked. We barely acknowledged our waitress when she was at our table because we were so wrapped up with one another. It was like we hadn't met with each other in years, and we only had today to get through everything that has happened to us.

I missed him. Especially when he is like this - all happy and just... Him.

I was finding it harder and harder not to fall for him, and I knew I should stop myself - catch myself - before I fell too fast and landed flat on my face.

Because I don't think I could ever get over him. And that scares me.

"B, you okay?" Edward's voice pulled me out of my trance of running thoughts. "You sorta drifted away. What's wrong?"

I shook my head, focusing my eyes back on him instead of a blank spot on the wall. "Nothing. I'm fine."

He let my lie slid, but I could see in his eyes that he knew. He knew that there was something bothering me, and it killed me knowing that he knew and that, if there was ever someone I could always be honest with, that it was him.

And I just lied to him.

_Woe is me._

The rest of our lunch was quiet. Edward closed himself off after I did, both of us hiding in our thoughts as we picked at our food that is usually so good we'd leave whining about how we were going to burst. But, now, it was tasteless. Bland.

He drove me home, the air around us thick and awkward.

I hated it.

"So... I'll see you Monday morning?" I asked softly once he parked in front of my house. My hand was hovering above the door handle, ready to jump out the second he replied. I couldn't take anymore of the tension.

"Yeah, sure," he replied, his hands clenched around the steering wheel. He kept his eyes focused in front of him.

I nodded to myself before I latched onto the handle and gave it a pull. I got one foot out of the car when I felt a hand on mine. When I turned my head, Edward's eyes were wide and so close to mine that I had to stop myself from jumping back.

"You'd tell me if it was me, right?" he asked, his eyes searching mine for an answer.

"What?"

"If I did something to upset you, y'know. Stuff like that. You'd let me know, right?" he stammered out, his words rushed, nervous.

"What are you talking about?" I replied with confusion clear in my voice. "Why would I be mad at you?"

He sighed and ran his free hand through his hair. "I don't know... I just thought..."

I placed the palm of my hand of his cheek, bringing his eyes back up to mine. His face was scrunched up with worry, and knowing that he thought I was upset because of him killed me even more.

"I'm sorry," he whispered as he closed his eyes. "So sorry."

"Sh," I hushed him. "Don't be. You have nothing to be sorry for."

He chuckled humorlessly. "Yes, I do."

"No."

"I do, Bella. It's all my fault, don't you get it?" he continued on like he didn't hear my protest. "If it wasn't for me, you could be with someone who actually sees how amazing and caring you are. But, no. Instead, I had to be selfish and stupid and... Scared." He whispered the last word, his anger dissolving. "Scared of some girl who I loved too much.

"And now I have you. This sweet girl who deserves way more than I could ever promise her, and, yet, she doesn't even care," he went on, the strength and anger back in his voice. "And I can't even repay her for all the amazing things she's done for me because I know that, once she gets the chance to run, that she'll be long gone. And I won't even try to get her to stay."

My heart squeezed in on itself as I met his eyes with my watery ones. I so badly wanted to tell him that I was going to stay no matter where this mess will drop us off at. But I knew that, if I did, I would only be selfish.

He wasn't mine to have.

"You're wrong," I whispered.

He shook his head. "Don't, Bella. You can't change my mind about this. It's true, and you know it."

"Edward, listen to me," I replied with determination. "I've told you that I'm here to stay, remember? What's it going to take to make you see that it's true?"

"Nothing you can say ever will." He looked down at his hands. "You deserve better."

Before I could even think about what I was going to do and stop myself, my hands latched onto the sides of his face. I turned his head so he met my eyes and crashed my lips to his, kissing him just as I had dreamed of doing. Because right now nothing mattered. The only thing that did was making sure he saw how much I was with him.

He was frozen at first, but I urged him on by moving my hands into his hair. His hands tenderly clasped my cheeks, holding me like I was a precious diamond that could break from the tiniest of falls. His lips were soft and warm as they moved with mine. My fingers pulled on the smooth strands of bronze hair as his hands moved down my neck to my collarbone. He used one of them to push my hair away from my neck before his lips mine, only to be put on the free skin. I tugged harder on his hair as the feeling of his butterfly-soft kisses touched my skin.

I was so in love with him; his kisses, his touches, just everything he did. And I was crashing so hard, falling way too fast. But I couldn't stop. I didn't want to.

Edward pulled away from my neck, his cheeks flushed, as were mine. His green eyes were wide, the color swirling with wonderment and so many questions that I was beginning to get dizzy from staring into them.

"Bella, I..." he began, but I hushed him with my finger.

"No," I said with a shake of my head. "Just trust me, okay?"

He swallowed hard before he nodded his head once.

"Thank you," I whispered before placing a chaste kiss on his lips. "I'll call you, okay?"

"Y-yeah," he replied.

I got out of the car, knowing that I was never, ever getting over Edward Cullen.

* * *

**Heh... Oops.**

**More?**


	15. Stay

**Edward tonight. He should've bought you flowers. Sorry.**

* * *

_Stay_

Two days had passed and I still hadn't been able to process what the hell happened in my car on Saturday. I mean, I get that Bella kissed me, but for what reason? Because it made me shut up, or... Does she... No. There's no way._ Don't go there, Cullen. That's another dark road you don't need to go down._

I was going to talk to her about it this morning when I was supposed to pick her up before school, but she texted me five minutes before I was going to be at her house that she had woken up late and would drive herself. I couldn't help but feel like she used it as a way to not see me until she absolutely had to, especially of recent events. Blame my past, but being let down is a constant in my life, so feeling like she didn't want to see me hurt. A lot.

I don't know what it is about her, but I just... I don't know. She's changed me. Far more than anyone else ever could. It's made me feel for her.

When she's gone, I miss her. When she's near, I long to touch her all the time. When I hear her name, my heart skips a beat. She completely has a hold on my heart, and she doesn't even know it.

I know I shouldn't get in so deep with her because it isn't real for her, but... It's hard not to fall for someone like Bella. She's so understanding when she doesn't need to be. And not to mention she's absolutely beautiful. I always thought I was a blonde guy, but, boy, was I wrong. Her brown eyes... I'm always lost in them.

So... How to get over a girl like her?

_Well, you don't._

Yeah.

"Earth to Edward."

"What?" I reply, my thoughts of Bella interrupted.

Alice glared. "Did you not hear a word I just said?"

"Uh..."

She rolled her eyes. "I didn't think so. You had that... _Distant_ look in your eye. And where the hell is Bella? Is she pissed at you? What the hell did you do?"

I held up my hands in surrender as she pointed a finger at me. "Whoa, easy, Ali. She said she overslept. She'll be here soon."

Alice turned her attention from me, instead focusing on the other members of our circle of friends to see what they all were talking about. I breathed a sigh of relief and focused back on the parking lot that was filling up quickly, no sign of Bella anywhere.

Before the bell rang, I pulled out my phone and fired off a text to her, asking her where she was and if she was all right. I hate to admit it, but it worries me when I'm not with her. After the weekend we had with Black, I can't help but feel like I owe her protection from him because I got her into this mess. She would have never been in Black's eyesight if it wasn't for her relationship with me. I have to make it up to her to make her feel like she is never going to get hurt.

Not because of me, or because of him.

**x-x-x-x**

There wasn't a sign of her throughout my classes during the morning. My day was starting to go downhill.

I was in the lunch-line when I realized that maybe it was me and about how I reacted last night. Was I too stiff? Did I seem like I didn't want it? I mean... She _kissed_ me... And it felt... _Different._ But in a good way.

"Yo, Cullen," I heard someone yell behind me. "There's a slice of fuckin' pizza with my name on it. Get the fuck outta the way!"

I smiled apologetically and grabbed a sandwich and paid. I kept my head down as I walked towards the table I usually sit at when I stopped from the sight of scuffed up Chucks.

"Hey, stranger."

_Finally._

"Where've you been?" Bella asked as I met her eyes with a smile. "I didn't see you in the hall."

"I didn't see _you_," I replied. "I thought you weren't going to show."

She shrugged, her hair hiding her eyes from me. She was swaying back and forth on her toes, her hands stuffed in her jean pockets. I could literally feel the tension radiate off her and into me as we continued to stand there, acting like... Strangers.

"Wanna go sit down and talk?" I finally uttered after what felt like a lifetime of silence.

"I-I can't right now," she rushed out as she began to take small step backwards. "But I'll find you later. We'll talk then, I promise."

"Wait!" I called after her, but she was too lost in the moving student body as they hurried to find their friends. The last swish of her hair sent a cold shower over my body, icing my skin and heart as she went away.

My eyes caught Alice's as she stood from her seat, her face filled with worry. I shook my head and marched my way over to the table. I sat in silence and picked at my food as my friends tried to keep conversation light around me.

Why did she rush off like that?

_You know why._

I don't... I won't believe it.

_Believe it, Cullen. You've scared her away. Let her go._

It was like Alice could read my mind because right when that thought went through my head, her eyes snapped up with a fire burning in the ice blue of them.

But... I can't make her stay. If she wants to run, then... She can. I won't stop her because I owe her that much for everything she has put on hold for me. No matter how much I want her to stay, I owe her that much to let her go.

I got up out of my seat, my tray of food completely forgotten. I ran off in the direction Bella went as my eyes scanned every dark corner and empty room for her. I ended up on the floor where our lockers were, and there she was. Sitting in front of mine with her knees pulled up to her chest, her head resting on them with her hair hiding her face.

"Bella."

Her head snapped up, completely in shock of finding me standing there. "What are you doing?"

"I can let you go," I said. My body was numb even though I knew how much this was going to hurt. "If you want to leave and forgot all of this, you can. I won't stop you."

Her mouth was open in a small 'o' as my words processed through her mind. She slowly stood up and began to walk towards me with her arms crossed over her chest. When she was close enough to touch, I had to ball my hands in to fists to stop myself from reaching out to her. One touch could make this even harder.

"You would do that?" she whispered, her eyes locked on mine. "You would let me walk away with your deepest, darkest secret? Without a care or worry in the world?"

I swallowed hard, stalling. "I-I... I guess I would."

"Now, Cullen, why would I let you do that?" Her small hand reached for my waist, a finger hooking in one of my belt loops. "Can't you see how much I want to stay?"

My breaths were shaky as she pulled me slowly towards her. "I can't tell if what you're doing to me is for real or if it's for show. That's why I have to let you go."

She smiled softly. "No. No, you really don't."

I was close enough to her now that I could feel her chest rise and fall with each breath she took. Her finger released its grip on the belt loop and now her whole hand was moving up my abs, chest, and neck until it was pulling on the ends of my hair as she balled her hand in to a fist in it. She reached up on her tip-toes so she was almost the same height as me and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Tell me how much you want me to stay. And I'll prove to you that this is real."

My lips parted with an exhale of a breath before they crashed with hers. My hands instinctively caught her waist when her stance faltered, pulling her as close to me as possible. Both of her hands were in my hair as our lips moved in perfect harmony. Sparks ignited from our touches.

The sound of a ringing bell made us pull apart from one another, both completely breathless.

"I want you to stay," I whispered to her as I caressed her soft cheek with my thumb as my forehead rested on hers. "Fuck pretending. This is real."

She sighed what seems to be in relief before placing a small kiss on my lips. "You have no idea what those words mean for me. I want to stay with you. That's why I've held on for so long."

I pulled her into a hug, cherishing the small girl who is slowly but surely saving me from the darkness that was my life just a few months ago.

People were starting to fill the hallway we were standing in as we continued our embrace. The one chance I happened to look up, I captured the eyes of caramel. Caramel and ruby-red lips.

Tanya.

"This isn't over," she mouthed clearly so I wouldn't get the message confused. "You are _mine_."

* * *

**TANYA HAS A PLAN. An evil plan. Of evil things. And of evil... proportions?**

**I lost where I was going with that. Ah, well...**

**More?**


	16. Stubborn Love

**I'm rusty at this. The ending proves it.**

* * *

_Stubborn Love_

The last week of school was peaceful. Edward and I fell back into synch with each other, acting like we did before the fateful kiss. We adjusted. We got to know each other better with late talks on the phone until two in the morning or just spending the afternoon working on homework together in his bedroom. It was the small talk that made me understand what he liked and cared for.

His favorite color was blue because it was the happiest color. He didn't like Cool Ranch Doritos because they were too sour tasting. He was content on listening to folk songs when he was in a good mood, but liked to listen to hard rock and rap when he was angry. He loved the show _F.R.I.E.N.D.S. _because he wanted to live life like they did, all together just like one big happy family.

It was nice to get to know him on a personal level. It made pretending that much harder, too.

Each day I had to remind myself that he wasn't really mind to care for in the way I wanted to. I was just someone to keep him safe while he got over the girl from his past. I was just... Easy. Not in a bad way like most girls would think, but I was comfort. Easy comfort.

I didn't show how much knowing that I wasn't what I wanted to him when I was with him or around our group of friends. I keep it in all week until I'm finally locked safely in my room without the watchful eyes of the ones I've grown close to. I can break down and cry if I wanted to, or I could sit in silence and smile, remembering how nice it was to just be with Edward. And then I would hide it all again, act perfectly fine when Monday rolled back around.

It was a cycle I had adapted to. One that I hoped would never break.

Today, I didn't feel like crying, nor did I feel like remembering. I was numb.

I was officially eighteen.

I laid in bed for a few minutes longer, my alarm beeping incessantly in my ear. The pitter-patter of rain sounded against the glass of my window as thunder rumbled in the distance. My phone vibrated under my shoulder where it must have moved to while I thrashed in my sleep. I didn't feel like looking at the message or call or notification or whatever the hell it was. I didn't want to acknowledge that I was another year older, supposedly another year wiser when I felt so small.

There was no "Happy Birthday" from Charlie when I finally did leave my room to grab breakfast. Only a note that said he'd be back in two days from his fishing trip. Wasn't a father supposed to enjoy spending time with his daughter that he just got back? Shouldn't he be trying to make things right now more than ever with me? What the hell happened to the father I had when my mom was around?

What happened to the mom I had when he wasn't?

_Man... Birthday's suck balls._

I grabbed a granola bar out of the cabinet and slung the strap of my book-bag over my shoulder before marching out the door and into the rain. A silver Volvo was parked in my driveway with the engine running, and instantly everything felt better.

He stepped out of the car, an umbrella popping up two seconds later. I locked the door behind me and met him on the porch, the umbrella stopping the drops of rain. There was a beautiful smile on his face, the tip of his bronze hair damp as it fell in front of his bright green eyes. A dimple appeared on his cheek as his smile grew.

"Happy birthday," he said softly to me. He moved his free arm from behind his back, holding up a small gift bag with a gorgeous white and pink lily peeking out of the top. My mouth opened in surprise, my heart filling with happiness instead of dread.

I grabbed the bag from him with a blush. "You didn't have to."

He shrugged. "I wanted to."

Inside, there was a pack of my favorite gum with a new iPhone case and a card. On it it read: _I know this isn't much, but it was my way of thanking you. There's more to come tonight. - E._

"More?" I asked, looking up into his eyes. "What more could there possibly be when this is enough?"

"Alice is throwing you a party, so she made me save your real gift for then," he replied with a sheepish grin. "I told her that you probably didn't want that, but... You know Ali. Goes in one ear and right out the other."

I smiled before wrapping my free arm around his shoulders. I placed a kiss on his cheek and whispered my thanks into his ear before releasing him. He grabbed onto my hand and walked me to the passenger side of the car, opening the door for me like the gentleman he was. We sped off toward school, a smile on my face. Maybe my birthday wouldn't be as bad as I thought it would be. Not when I had him by my side.

**x-x-x-x**

"Ali..."

"Shush! It's perfect!"

"O-okay..."

It wasn't perfect. It was more than perfect. It was everything that I thought I didn't need, but exactly what I wanted. The Cullen's living room was decorated in pretty pastel pinks, blues, yellows, and purples. Instead of dreadful fall colors that always seemed too harsh for me, Alice had chosen to go light. Carefree.

I never thought I would like it, but... Boy, was I wrong. I was in heaven.

"How the hell did you do this in an hour?" I wondered aloud as Esme walked in the archway that lead to the dining room.

She smiled as she set an empty bowl on what I assumed would be the snack table later on tonight. "She had a little help," she commented with a wink. "Took me most of the afternoon to string the lights. She just happened to come home at the right time to do the rest."

Alice beamed. "It was my idea for the lights, by the way."

Esme walked over to where I was still gawking, her tiny hands landing on my shoulders lovingly. "This is all for you, sweetheart. Happy birthday."

She placed a soft kiss on my cheek before going back into the kitchen, the smells of sugar cookies and brownies wafting throughout the house. Piano music was softly playing in the background, and I knew that Edward had went straight up to his room to hide away for a while before way too many people barged into his home. I desperately wanted to run up there to watch him, but Alice had other plans. She latched onto my hand and pulled me up the stairs, Edward's room so close, but turned us the other way.

"No way, little miss," she said as we walked into her room. "I know exactly where your mind is headed. There will be none of that when I have so much still to get you ready for."

I pouted. I hate to admit it, but I did. I'm a girl, and watching him play the piano kind of makes me weak in the knees. Sue me.

Alice threw her closet doors open and rummaged through the racks, grumbling to herself while she did. I plopped down on her comfy bed and watched her, laughing each time she threw something behind her, claiming it was in her way.

"Finally!" she squealed as she pulled out a white garment bag. "I had this baby ordered weeks ago for you. Think of it as my birthday present to you that you get to dance the night away in."

She shoved the bag into my hands and pushed me into the bathroom. She threw the door closed behind her and a _thud_ sounded against the side she was on. "I'm blocking it so you can't escape! Don't say I didn't warn you!"

I rolled my eyes as I unzipped the bag. I was blinded immediately by all the sequins on the top part of the dress. Past all the glitter, a pretty pale blue high-low skirt appeared. I couldn't believe how in love with the dress I was. And I knew Alice had to have planned this because she picked a blue dress. Who likes blue? A pretty boy with green eyes, that's who.

Once in the dress, I knocked on the door. Alice peeked inside before screaming and pulling me into a hug. "I knew it! You look absolutely perf in it!"

Another hour and a half and I was ready. My hair was perfectly curled, my lips were a pretty pink, and I had glitter eyeshadow to match my dress. Alice even bought me a damn tiara to wear, but I adamantly refused to accept that fate of taunting from Emmett. She let me stare at myself as she got ready before running downstairs to play hostess.

Now, the house was pulsating with deep bass from the music and laughing and white noise could be heard below my feet. My heart raced as the nerves finally began to set in. Why the hell did Alice think a party was a good idea? I still didn't know a lot of the people we went to school with, let alone half of the people in my class. Why the hell would they want to come to some random girl's birthday bash?

_Because you're dating Edward Cullen. He's mysterious. Sorta._

I rolled my eyes at myself. I was being irrational. It was time to put on my big girl pants and enjoy my day.

I was eighteen. Almost an adult. I had freedom now that I never had before. No curfew. I could leave Charlie's if I really wanted to and had the money to afford it. I was a new woman. Time to act like it.

There was a knock on the door before it squeaked open. I watched as it did in the reflection of the mirror, a smile growing on my face. Edward leaned up against the door frame, his own smile flashing at me in the mirror.

"You look stunning," he murmured in the stupid velvet voice that got me every time. "Have I mentioned how much I love the color blue?"

I blushed. "Only a thousand times."

He chuckled. "Guess it doesn't hurt to say it again, then."

He didn't look too bad himself. He wore a black button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Somehow - and I doubt I don't have Alice to blame - he had on light blue straight tie on. He kept it simple and comfortable with black jeans and his Chuck Taylor's. He was classically Edward, from head to toe, inside and out.

"I think they're ready for you downstairs," he said as he walked further into the room. "But only if you are. Don't want you passing out on me because of all that attention."

_Someone was cocky today._

Admit it, mind. You like it.

And, boy, did I.

"I think I can handle it," I fired back, turning to face him. "You gonna be okay? I know this isn't usually how you'd spend your Friday night, but... What?"

He was laughing at me. Not loudly, he kept it in. But I noticed his shoulders shaking and the brightness in his eyes. His lips were in that perfectly cute crooked smile, his smugness shining through his crossed-arm stance.

"I'll be fine, Bella," he replied cooly. "It's not my party, so I don't get to cry if I want to."

I rolled my eyes at his joke. "Oh, hardy har-har, jerk."

He chuckled and held out his arm, waiting for me to wrap my small one around it so we could walk out together. The music grew louder as we got closer to the staircase, and it wasn't until we were staring down the stairs that I felt the panic start to rise in my throat.

_What if this was all a sick joke? What if they all knew? Oh, god... I think I'm going to be sick..._

"Easy, Bella," Edward murmured in my ear as he grabbed onto my arms with both of his hands.

I spun on my heels to face him, my mouth opening and closing like a fish as I tried to find the right words to tell him about my dilemma. His green eyes were filled with worry as I took in deep breaths, his hands were running up and down the skin of my arms in a calming motion.

"Relax," he whispered to me, repeating the word every five seconds. "Just breathe. It's okay. I'm right here. I won't let go, okay? I'm right here."

After another deep, cleansing breaths, my heart-rate was back to normal. My cheeks were still heated, but I was ready to face the crowd that was filling the lower level of the house. I latched onto his arm again and nodded my head once.

And then it was slow-motion as we made our way down.

Faces turned towards us. Eyes lit up as we reached the end of the staircase. Confetti flew through the air as hands let them go. Shouts were growing louder through the water in my ears. Hands applauded as the shouts turned into "Happy birthday!"s. My friends ran up to us, the noise becoming crystal clear as they hugged me.

Once I was able to breathe again, I caught Edward's eye with a smile. He gave a slight wave from where he stood by the snack table. I was about to walk over to him when a thought hit me.

This was my party. And it was time for this girl to make friends.

I turned away from him and immersed myself in the gyrating bodies, finding Alice and Jasper as they danced. There was a couple already next to them, conversing as they moved. Alice noticed my presence and held out her hand, pulling me close to the two couples and began dancing with me. We shook our hips and laughed. I was introduced to Peter and Charlotte, now remembering that I had English class with her.

Hours were spent dancing and talking, and I got to know more girls from classes I had with them. Soon enough, I was parched and raced towards the snack table where bottles of water and punch were just waiting to quench my thirst.

"Having fun?"

I spun around, a few drops of water falling onto my skirt as I moved. Edward chuckled before he grabbed the bottle from my hands, screwing the top back into place.

"Yeah, I am," I replied with a shy smile, ashamed that he had to ask if I was enjoying my birthday party. "I started talking to some girls I have classes with, so sorry for disappearing on you."

He shrugged, his eyes scanning the crowd. "It's not a problem."

He kept his eyes on the crowd, his lips a thin line now. A feeling of something wrong washed over me as I tried to follow his line of sight. But a cold win caressed my back as a door opened, causing me to look in that direction and right into the caramel eyes of the one woman that was not invited.

"Tanya..."

"What the hell?" I heard Alice screech.

I turned back to Edward, my hand latching on his shirt sleeve. Panic was clawing at my throat once again as I tried to get Edward to move away from where we were standing so Tanya wouldn't notice of, but he wasn't budging.

"What is she doing here?" I heard him murmur. I wasn't sure if he was asking me or himself, all I knew was that I had to get him away from her. Fast.

"Let's go upstairs for a bit?" I said, trying to get his attention away from her. "I need some air."

It took him a minute to respond with a nod, but I was glad for his agreement. He latched onto my hand and pushed us through the crowd towards the staircase. We were silent all the way to his room. He slammed his door shut and I winced at the noise. He yanked a chair from his desk before falling into it, his hands immediately hiding his face fro my view.

I kicked off my heels, my feet aching from the time I spent dancing, and paced the expanse of his room as he sat in silence. I knew he was upset, and it killed me knowing that she had this planned. Word travels fast about a party, especially one you know you shouldn't be attending. But that bitch just had to go a ruin my night.

I felt tears prickle my eyes as they tried to force their way out. Great, now I was upset.

I must have sniffled because Edward was up and out of his chair in a flash. A hand touched the small of my back as the other cupped my cheek. I was forced to look into green eyes as they read my face.

"Please don't cry," he whispered as his thumb rub soothing circles on my cheekbone. "It's okay if she upset me, not you."

I smiled before the tears fell. His words sent me over the edge, causing all the frustration and anxiety I felt from Tanya's arrival to spill over. He used the hand that was on the small of my back to push me towards him. I hid my face in his chest, my tears soaking through the cotton of his button-up. His arms created a cage around me as he held me close, rocking us side-to-side as he tried to calm me down. I felt his chin rest on the top of my head as he let me cry.

"Tell me what you need," he finally said once I was just sniffling again. "Say the word and it's yours."

I pulled away from his chest, looking up at his face. I didn't care about my makeup anymore than I did about the fact that Edward was seeing me at my worst. He knew my every secret except the one about him, why the hell should I have to hide my tear-stained face?

"Just hold me," I croaked out in a whisper. "That's all I need."

He nodded and pulled me with him towards his bed. He sat down and again cradle me against his neck once I was sitting on his lap. He rocked his body and began to hum. I felt my body relax more with each minute, my eyelids growing heavier. Then, soft sheets were against my skin as lips touched my temple.

"Sorry that I ruined your party," a velvet voice whispered. "I'll make it up to you."

I tried to protest, but my body was already beginning to drift off with sleep. The last thing I heard was the soft noise of a door opening and closing.

* * *

**It feels like an incomplete chapter, but it's there.**

**More?**


	17. Clarity

**And we're back.**

**Let's talk.**

* * *

_Clarity_

I was alone when I woke up.

Not that I expected him to be there, but a girl can dream.

My body was stiff, but well rested. The dress I was wearing last night was now wrinkled and knotted with my feet. My hair felt like it was all over the place and tangled with the necklace I was wearing.

As I sat up, I noticed that my overnight bag was resting on Edward's desk. I couldn't help but smile. Even though I took over his space, he still finds a way to make it okay. Only him...

After showering and doing my morning bathroom routine, I headed downstairs to the mess that awaited someone to clean. Esme was already roaming the room with a trash bag in hand as I hopped off the last step.

"Need any help?"

She stood up from where she was kneeling, a red Solo cup in her hand. She made a face as she shook her head. "Thank you, dear, but I can't ask you to clean up after your own birthday party. Feels wrong."

I smiled at her as she winked. "Alright. But if you think it's too much for you to handle, let me know, okay?"

"Nonsense. I have three capable teenagers that live in this house that have a list of chores they need to finish anyways. What's one more?" She nodded her head towards the entrance to the kitchen. "They're all awake, too. Help yourself to some breakfast."

"Thanks, Esme."

She waved me off before going back to cleaning.

The smell of fresh fruit and waffles wafted up to my nose as I walked into the kitchen where the three teenagers were eating. Alice looked like she could use a couple more hours of sleep while Emmett and Edward were already throwing things at each other.

"You know that play was as good as any!" Emmett yelled.

Edward laughed as he threw another blueberry at him. "Oh, whatever, Em. That team could use more than just a _good_ play."

Emmett huffed and grabbed the last half of his waffle, holding it in the air as a threat. "You take that back!"

Luckily for Edward, I was close enough to Emmett to latch onto his wrist before he could through the sticky breakfast food at him.

"Enough you two," I said as I squeezed harder on his wrist. "Eat your food, not play with it."

Emmett huffed again. "Okay, _mom_."

Alice rolled her eyes and sipped her coffee. "Shut it, idiot."

Emmett threatened Alice with his fork, almost poking her arm. She rolled her eyes and hid her lips behind her mug as her glassy eyes focused back on the magazine by her plate. I walked over to the counter where everything was plated up. I grabbed some grapes and slices of mixed fruits before filling a glass with water. When I turned from the freezer, a chest was at my eye level.

"Morning."

"Jesus Christ, Edward..." I breathed out, the ice rattling in my glass from the tiny jump I did. "Don't do that!"

He chuckled as he ran a hand through his hair, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks. "Sorry."

I shook my head. "It's fine."

I reached for my plate, but his hand was faster. He picked it up off the counter and nodded his head towards the patio doors. His green eyes were clouded over with what looked like worry as he started to walk towards them. I nodded in response before filling up my glass with tea. Alice and Emmett barely gave us a glance as we let in the warm autumn morning air in.

Edward sat down on the bottom step that led to Esme's still thriving garden. I plopped down next to him, huddling closer to him for warmth as a cool breeze rattled the yellowing leaves. My light cotton shirt was going to have to be layered with something in the next week or so if the weather was turning this quickly.

"Why did we come out here?" I asked him as he handed me my plate of food.

He shrugged as he looked out into the distance. "Privacy. Plus, it's nice out. Why not enjoy it?"

I bit into a fresh strawberry, focusing on his facial expressions as he watched a stray butterfly travel through the air. I understood why he wanted to come out here because of the nice weather. It was rare day for Forks. The sun was shining, the temperature was rising, and the animals were scattering about, making the woods the house was surrounded in come alive. But what I didn't get was why he would want the privacy. Yes, he was a private person, but not around his family.

Especially when it involved me.

Finally, the silence got to me.

"Is everything all right?" I asked, setting my now empty plate aside.

He nodded. "Yeah."

My eyes narrowed as I stared at him. "I call bullshit. Spill, Cullen."

His jaw was tight, a vein popping out on his neck. His leg started shaking, sending vibrations through the plank of wood we were sitting on.

"Edward," I called out, placing a hand on his knee to stop the motion. He met my eyes with wide, crazy ones. "Talk to me."

"I confronted her," he murmured. "Last night."

"_What_?"

He didn't have to say who it was he confronted. I knew.

Tanya.

He licked his lips before going into a rambling fit. "I confronted her. Why? Hell if I know. I was just so... So mad that she made you upset. I wanted her to feel bad. I wanted her to know her wrong, so I pulled her aside. Brought her out of everyone's hearing so they wouldn't know. I tried to be nice about it, but I was so _angry_ with her, Bella. She had no right coming here last night." His eyes were everywhere while he talked, but now they were focused just on mine. "Especially last night."

A blush spread across my cheeks as he continued to stare into my eyes, nerves fluttering the contents of my stomach around.

"Last night should've been perfect for you," he whispered. His arm moved as his fingers connected with my cheek, pushing a few strands of my hair away from my face, tucking them behind my ear. "I wanted it to be perfect for you. Especially after everything you've done for me. I can't thank you enough for sticking through this, and I know it's only been for a few weeks..." He trailed off, his lips thinning into a small line.

I met with his green eyes with defiance in mine. Why was he thanking me? Why should he? He was using me, but wasn't I doing the same to him? I was lying to him, pretending that nothing was there when there was definitely something there. Shouldn't I be the one thanking him for letting me live out the sick fantasy I had made up in my head?

"You don't have to thank me," I filled in the silence, catching his confused look. "That's the last thing you have to do, trust me."

He shook his head. "But I do, Bella. You deserve more than that, but I'm afraid that's all I can do."

I scoffed, shaking my head in disbelief. "You've done more than enough, Edward. Okay? I know that it seems I'm ungrateful for your thanks, but, trust me when I say this, I don't need it. I won't accept it. I'm doing this for _you_ because you're _you_." I met his eyes for a few seconds to get my point across before continuing. "And I know you would do it for me in a heartbeat. So, we're even, all right? No more thanking me."

His mouth was opened to protest, but I covered it with my hand and smiled widely at him. "Nope," I said. "None of it. I won't have it!"

He chuckled as he pulled my hand away from his lips. "How about you let me take you out to make up for you missed party? Is that better than thanking you?"

I rolled my eyes, but a blush was painting pink across my cheeks as I smiled like a child on Christmas. "Yes. But only because you won't take 'no' for an answer."

"I'll take it," he replied, nudging my shoulder with is arm. "Pick you up from your house at six? I've got a lot planned."

"It's a date," I joked with a wink.

We both laughed, our legs intermingling as we sat there for the majority of the day. We talked about anything and everything up until Alice reminded me that I had to head home for a few errands. I kissed Edward on the cheek in parting before following Alice out the front door.

"What?" I asked when I noticed her shit-eating grin.

"You're _so _into him. It almost makes me sick," she replied with a hop onto her toes in excitement. "It's good, though. You're good for him."

I latched onto her arm before she could scurry towards her side of the car. "What do you mean?"

She shrugged. "Well, for starters, he talks nonstop about you. It gets annoying at times, but you can tell that he really cares for you. Never in a million years did I think he would get this way again after you-know-who, but it's good, B. Trust me." She smiled. "It's really good."

I knew Edward mentioned in some of the conversations he had with Alice and Emmett, but only because we had the front we had to uphold. I didn't know that he did it all that time. Could it still be acting if that was the case? Or was what Alice was saying true? He really cared about me?

"Well, come on! I've got a Southern Sinner to attend to, and you know how much I hate making him wait!" she called as she marched to the car.

I guess only time would tell.

* * *

**Date night.**

**Let's do this.**

**More?**


End file.
